Wonderbread
by Chain of Prospit
Summary: Axel moaned. "It's raining, it's not raining, my toast is burnt, my rhododendrons are ruined, some dead guy in a black cloak fell from the sky onto my patio, and to top it all of… it's morning." He sighed angrily. "I hate Mondays…" AU, AxelZexion, M
1. Why Axel Hates Mondays

A/N: Yes, I know. Here is a quick explanation: family, friends, OCD, ADD, heartbreak, drama, homework, college, applications, jobs, novels, and general lack of free time. I'm hoping that you all (most of you teenagers as well, I assume) get what I'm talking about and will forgive me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, or any associated characters with any used franchise. I also do not own Wonderbread. This story is based off of Lady Karai's "Skywalkers" (which I highly recommend) with her permission. The beginning may seem very very familiar, but as the plot progresses, the story will change and take on its own shape (meaning that it's not an imitant, just inspired by).

Need-to-know stuff: The pairing is Zexion/Axel, also known as AkuZeku. If you get this update, you should probably read through the first two chapters again, because I will have changed things. For example, I got rid of Tsunade (not sure why I had her in there in the first place) and probably changed some voice/description things, as well as toned down some far-fetched things. (**Update: So, I actually kind of rewrote the thing. Stay tuned for the next rewritten chapter, which will replace the current Chapter 2. Soon followed be a brand new Chapter 3**.)

Warning: This story is yaoi, which means boy-on-boy. The prohibits explicit scenes—not that most people listen to that—so I may or may not get around to actual graphic description, we'll see. But whatever the amount of detail, I do mean yaoi as in "two boys will be having sex." If that's squicky to you, you might want to find something else to read. There will also be a lot of cuss words and probably adult themes, hence the 'M' rating. Here's a fun list of other things it may include: really long rants, negative attitudes towards Mondays, Wonderbread-bashers, illegal activity, burnt toast, rude neighbors, objectification, disturbing callousness, references to terrible things, references to awesome bands, bashing of just about anything (especially the government), and any amount of other strange and/or inappropriate things. Consider yourself warned.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Chapter 1: Why Axel Hates Mondays

* * *

**

The phone had rung three times now, and Axel was getting antsy.

_Brrrriiiin—_"_Hello!"_

Axel sighed in relief, glancing at the lumpy figure sprawled outside his back door and moving his lips closer to the tiny speaker of the cell phone. "Hey, Cissy, it's me—"

"_This is Cissnei! I'm so glad I'm on your to-call list, but unfortunately I'm not here right now! If you'll leave a message, though, I'll be sure to shoot a call back your way! Thanks!" Beeep._

"Damn," he muttered. Answering machine. He glanced outside again, making a face, and decided he might as well leave a message. "Hey Cissy, it's your favorite cousin—no, not that one. I've got a little situation over here in the big bad West and I kind of thought you might have some sort of expertise that could be of use to me, considering you're the biggest nerd I've ever—"

"_Lae?" _came a voice from the other end, interrupting him.

"Heyyy, Cissy!" He grinned at the phone. It had been a long time.

"_Hey, kiddo! It's been ages, how are you?"_

"I'm good, Ciss. Real good. How've you been?"

"_I've been great, Lae. I've missed you! How's California?"_

"Heavenly, babe."

Laughter came from the other end. "_I'm sure it is. Following your dreams and all that?"_

"Something of the sort. Listen, I've got a couple questions to ask you that may sound kinda weird."

"_It wouldn't be the first time."_

"Yeah, probably not. Okay, so, lightning storms."

"_What about them?"_

"All the static electricity and all that, if it's just the lightning and not like a rainstorm, it can have weird effects on the atmosphere, right?"

"_How do you mean?"_

"Like, is it possible for it to make like a mirage, optical illusion sort of thing?" He walked to the back door, staring outside as he spoke. The raindrops still fell in sheets.

"_Hmmm."_ She sounded thoughtful. "_I've never really heard of such a thing, to be honest."_

"No?" He sighed, sliding open the glass door thoughtfully and reaching his hand outside to catch the clearly visible raindrops. Still nothing. No splash to be felt. "All right. Next question. You know how frogs rain in Texas or whatever?"

"_Frogs in Texas?"_ She laughed again. "_Okay, I actually have heard of raining frogs. Funny thing, that. What about them?"_

"Can that happen to people, too?"

"_People? I don't think so. Too heavy. Wouldn't that be something if they could! It'd be right out of the Wizard of Oz."_

"Yeah, no kidding." He turned his fingers over in the nonexistent rain, glancing at the black-clad figure in his flowerbed. "All right. Hmm."

"_Any other weird questions?"_

"Hmm… do you know of any discreet doctors in the LA area?"

"_Oh, Lae." _She sighed. "_You've gotten involved in something again, haven't you."_

"Nah, Cissy, I…" He scratched his head, at a loss for words. "Well… You know, I'm really not quite sure what just happened, to be honest."

"_You're not in trouble, are you Lae? You wanna talk about it?"_

"Nah Ciss. I'm all right. Do you know anyone, though?"

"_Well…"_ She sounded reluctant. "_I might."

* * *

_*Approximately One Hour Later*

* * *

Aerith was so sweet-looking that Axel instantly regretted bringing her into this.

"_You're_ the doctor?" he asked reluctantly at the door.

She nodded her gentle face and beamed. "I may not look like much, but I'm fairly good at what I do, and I've seen a lot, so I'm very discreet."

"Very discreet, huh," he muttered to himself. "All right, well, you already know where I live, guess you'd better come in." He opened the door for her.

In his head he wished bitterly that he had just thrown the dude off of his fucking balcony when he first saw him.

"Yeah, so, I was just up making toast, no big, and it kind of caught on fire, nothing unusual, so I was gonna go out on my patio to throw it onto my neighbor's roof, right?"

He didn't wait for a response before continuing.

"Anyway, so I was gonna throw my toast out 'cause Albert fucking incinerated it, but it's chucking down an assload of rain. Only when I get on the patio, it's like, not wet. This sounding fucking insane to you yet?"

She smiled politely.

"Right, so, check this out." He led her through the hall and past the kitchen to the back of the apartment, where the sliding glass doors led to a small, cramped patio. "Stand here. Look outside."

She obeyed, tilting her head.

"Okay, what do you see?"

"It's raining," she said.

He immediately felt an immense wave of relief. "Thank god I'm not insane. So see! See, it's raining, right? You see that!"

"Yes," she said.

"All right, now step here, a bit closer."

She walked to where he was pointing obediently.

"Okay now listen."

She cocked an ear.

"You hear that, right?" He wiggled his fingers to demonstrate. "Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, the most fucking annoying sound in the world, right?"

She nodded. "I hear it."

"All right, now riddle me this." He slid open the door. "Don't go outside, just step here, stand here, and tell me what it smells like."

She tilted her head. "Smells like?"

"Yes, smells like."

She stepped nearly to the edge of the patio and Axel had to question her sanity, just going along with everything he said like this. What if he was a serial killer? He wasn't, but he could be. Or had she just really seen enough that nothing surprised her anymore?

"It smells like rain," she announced.

"Hallelujah!" Axel proclaimed. "Correctemundo. _It smells like rain_. Okay. So you're with me so far. It's totally raining. Which, by the way, sucks balls because any rain is rain on my parade."

She nodded as though she knew what he meant, although he was pretty sure he wasn't making a lot of sense.

"So you're discreet, right?" he asked again.

"Yes," she said.

"Good," he said, and he pushed her onto the deck.

She yelped at first, stumbling and lifting her hands to cover her head, but after a moment blinked and looked up, confused.

"That's right," said Axel, leaning against the doorway with his arms folded cockily. "Rain be there _not_."

"I see," she said softly, examining her dry hands curiously. "That's unusual."

"Yeah," said Axel flippantly, "but that's not the point anyway. I really just told you that to make sure I wasn't imagining things."

She tilted her head at him.

"The _point_ is, when I came out here to kindly gift Mr Scrooge over there some crunchy delicious Wonderbread cinders, I saw _this_—" He stepped out beside her, gesturing vaguely at the surrounding not-raindrops, and then pointed to a planter box in the shadows. "Aaand _that_."

She gasped softly, immediately bounding over to the rhododendron bush, which was crushed under the weight of a black-clothed figure at an awkward angle. She crouched by the figure, looking horrified. "These poor flowers!" she whispered.

Axel blinked at her. Seriously?

"Oh, no, get him off of these immediately!" she exclaimed.

"Uh. Okay…" He scratched his head and strolled over, hesitating before grabbing what he thought was an arm and tugging the person out of the bush. They tumbled to the ground with a soft rustle. She nursed the stems and petals with a worried expression, attempting to straighten those that had been bent.

"Such lovely flowers…" she murmured.

"Yeah…" He ran his fingers through his hair. "They came with the apartment…"

She sighed. "Rhododendrons are sturdy, but depending on the weight of the victim, these might have to be replaced…"

"Yeah, about that victim?" Axel said. "The human person? You know, the one that's not a flower and therefore probably requires more immediate attention?"

"Right," she muttered, staring at the flowers for another moment before standing and brushing off her skirt. She straightened the ribbon in her hair and drew back her shoulders. "All right, bring him inside," she said authoritatively.

"Sure thing," Axel muttered, hoisting the body into his arms with some difficulty. "Freak."

Aerith marched inside, heading immediately to the dining room and clearing off the table. "Set him here," she commanded. "Carefully."

At least she was acting like a doctor now. He lay the body down on the table, taking the chance to examine him. He looked to be about his age, but shorter, and with the oddest silvery blue-violet hair, pale with a pointed chin and clad in a cloak and boots that looked like they could have walked straight out of Matrix.

"This guy rob Neo or something?" he muttered to himself.

"What exactly do you want me to find out?" asked Aerith, distracting him from his musing.

"Um. I don't know. Whether or not he's dead. What to do with him." Axel shrugged. All he knew was that he didn't want a corpse in his apartment, and he didn't need a new roommate either.

"All right. You can wait in the living room," she said.

"Uh huh," he said, staring a little longer at the body before walking over to the living room and laying on the couch. He pulled out his phone and checked the date.

Ah. That explained everything.

_Mondays_.

* * *

**_Fin Ch 1._**

A/N: So yes, that has all been completely rewritten, with less clumsiness and less content in general. Next chapter will fill in the rest of what used to be Chapter 1 and get into what used to be Chapter 2. (Yes, it will also be completely rewritten.) By the way, for those of you who adored this story mainly because of Axel's cussing rant... don't worry. That is to stay. AND after the new Chapter 2, I promise a brand-spanking new Chapter 3 of never-before-seen content. But wait! There's more!

Actually, there's not. I just wanted to say that.

Feel free to shower me with praise. It might convince me to do the rest of the writing today, since I've got nothing better to do. Except wrap presents and clean things. Bo-ring.

Love you all to pieces! Cookies to those who review.


	2. The Psycho of Altar Eagerness

A/N: Ta-da! I even got it before the end of today. Yayyyy. Heck, who knows? I might even get up another chapter tonight! Because I love you people so gosh darn much.

Disclaimer and Warning still apply.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Ch 2: The Psycho of Altar Eagerness  
**

* * *

"Axel," came a light, airy voice, invading his video-game-reminiscent dream. He groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Axel," repeated the voice.

"Shut up," he grumbled quietly, then piped up, "Whaaaaat?"

He blinked his eyes blearily, tugged down the black wifebeater that had ridden up his stomach, and glowered at the girlish figure who loitered in the corner of his vision. Wait—chick?

He sat up. Oh. Right. Monday. Freak morning.

Aerith stood at the corner of the living room, waiting for him to regain consciousness. Once he managed to straighten and grimace at the sunlight that now shone through the back glass doors, she smiled slightly and said, "He's dead."

"Wha…?"

"He's dead," she repeated. "That boy. He has no pulse."

She seemed eerily calm about it, but he brushed it off as part of her 'discretion' policy.

"Okay, cool," he said tiredly. "Dead. Right."

"I'll be leaving now," she said, shouldering her leather bag of supplies.

"Right, right, yeah." He yawned and stood. "Um. Anyway, how much do I owe…" He trailed off, for she had already turned and walked out of the room.

"Uhh…"

He walked to the wall, peering around the corner. "Doctor… Aerith?"

She was at the front of the apartment, door already open. She tossed a smile at him over her shoulder. "Bye," she said.

"Eh?"

She left.

He blinked at her departure, then glanced the opposite direction to his balcony. The not-rain was gone. He looked forward to the dining room table. _Great. She left the body._

He imagined a different answer to Cissnei's earlier greeting, '_How are you?'_

"Great, just great, Cissy," he said aloud to himself. "It was raining, but it wasn't raining, my toast caught fire, I'm gonna have to pay for new rhododendrons, some dead guy in a black cloak fell from the sky onto my patio, and to top it all of… it's morning."

He sighed. "I hate Mondays."

* * *

*Enough Time Later To Have Regained Some Cheer*

* * *

The great thing about being Axel, thought Axel, was that he didn't really have to do anything. He hummed to himself as he opened the freezer and took out his loaf of Wonderbread, getting out another two slices now that he was hungry again.

All he had to do was call other people who would tell him what to do or help him. Freaky optical illusion? Call Cissy! Stranger of questionable health on patio? Call Aerith! Body in need of disposal? Call Cid!

He had done just that minutes previously, and good ol' Cid, always understanding, had agreed to let him through the shop to burn, burn, burn it up. There really was no better way to get rid of something than to burn it. He had burnt that crazy death certificate, burnt many photos and old papers, burnt dirty disks and files, and now he was gonna burn a body. Burn, burn, burn.

Axel had a little bit of pyromania. Just a teeny tiny bit. He had gotten in wee spots of trouble from it before. Positively microscopic. But what was wrong, he thought as he hummed, sliding his bread in his toaster, with a healthy appreciation for flame? It was just _pretty_, that's all. He just liked to watch it. No biggie.

Burn, burn, burn.

Tee hee. He set the toaster on high. He liked his Wonderbread toast crrrrrispy. Yum.

"Mondays are for burning," he declared. Perhaps this day of the week was not so bad at all. It would certainly be a great story to tell his… Hmm. He'd have to pick up some ardent admirers for this purpose. He wasn't hugely popular in the friends department, for reasons of discretion, and his roommate wasn't the greatest guy to tell stories to, usually because he didn't believe you or didn't care. But for some reason, everyone liked him. Teachers liked him, classmates liked him, girls liked him. His landlord did not like him. This was probably because he had disabled the smoke alarm in the apartment. No matter. Landlords were trifles in the grand scheme of things.

It was a nice place, though, he had to admit. He really got lucky with this one. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a nice kitchen with a table, nice little living room, lovely dining room, cramped and viewless but still appreciable balcony. And a roommate who was _never there_. Dream come true for the life of a bachelor.

Who just so happened to like burning things.

He wandered over to the table where the mystery boy lay. "Robber of Neo, I hereby declare thee inflammable," he pronounced, then had to blink a few times at a new sight. Aerith must have opened his coat to listen to his nonexistent hearbeat, because his bare torso was visible and looked lean and sculpted. He let out a low whistle.

"Daaaamn," he said softly. "Dead guy got abs, yo."

Shame he had to die, really. Axel determinedly didn't think about how that had happened. Probably fell from a plane or something. Probably happened all the time. Yep. A plane.

What did burning flesh smell like? He wondered. Oh yeah, he already knew that, from those times he had kind of accidentally set himself on fire. So… bad. Ew. He would have to skedaddle quick after he torched the guy. It smelt like… it smelt like… He sniffed the air. Hey, something actually was burning.

Ah, fuck.

"ALBERT!" he yelled loudly, sprinting to the kitchen. "You jerk, you beast, you fag-cunt-dick-bucket of a toaster! How dare you reduce my Wonderbread to ash! Why, cruel Fate?" He slammed his fist on top of the toaster, which, still hot, hurt like hell and popped out the crumbly black remains of his breakfast.

"Fuck you, Albert," he hissed. The toaster seemed to glare at him. "Oh, shut up," he said scathingly.

"_You do that every morning, Axel,_" called a voice from the second bedroom. "_Stop waking me up."_

Oh yeah, Sai'x was home. Axel always seemed to forget about him, probably because he stayed in his room all day and slept. He was only awake at night to do all his astronomy stuff. Weirdo.

And yet he was totally his best friend.

"Go back to sleep Sai'x," called Axel back. He didn't need to know about the whole… incident. Not that he would ever ask. Sai'x kept to himself that way.

He picked up the remains of his bread with a paper towel and stepped outside, looking around suspiciously for poser raindrops. Nada. He tossed the toast onto the roof of his next door neighbor, a guy he liked to call Scrooge because he was always yelling at him. It landed perfectly. He always had been good at Frisbees.

He went back inside, took out his cell phone, and typed a message.

_On my way, buddy ol' pal! Get out the gas for me. :3_

He swung his keys around his fingers as he tugged on shoes by the door, humming.

"Ohhh, Monday is a fun-day…"

* * *

*Approximately Half An Hour Later, As Experienced By The Guy Who is Certainly NOT Dead, Thank You Very Much*

* * *

When Zexion came to, he appeared to be in Hell.

He was surrounded by flames, the heat of which blurred the rest of his surroundings (if, indeed there was a 'rest of' his surroundings). He must have been horizontal, because he felt the oddly cool ground beneath his side. Ah—he _could_ feel. The numbness that had gripped his limbs seemed to be disappearing as his consciousness grew, and with it his capacity for sense.

He felt the heat now, close and stifling. Was this Hell?

No, it couldn't be. Clearly the transport had not occurred properly, and he had failed to reach his destination. The result, presumably, had been death. This wasn't so bad, really; he was a Nobody, he shouldn't technically have been alive anyway. But that was the thing—being a Nobody, when he died he should not go to Heaven or Hell. He should simply disappear, fading into the darkness from whence he came, returning to Kingdom Hearts. Was this Kingdom Hearts, this fiery damnation? It seemed so wrong. He had pictured it so peaceful…

The heat was really uncomfortable. Could this be Hell after all? Had Xemnas been wrong? All of their research… Surely it was not true that they had hearts after all? No… it was not possible…

"He's not catching," complained a voice from above him, somewhere between a drawl and a whine. "People are supposed to be flammable. F-L-A-M-M-A-B-L-E, got it memorized?"

"Ah, shut up. I'm going back inside, this is your mess," grumbled another, gruffer voice.

Of course I'm not "catching," thought Zexion. This fabric is fireproof. It's all-element-proof. You never know where you might end up in these things.

After a moment, he realized it was strange that someone was with him wherever he was. He strained his eyes to make out a face above him through the distorted heat waves.

Hovering several feet above him was a face as sharp as a sword, looking as though it was fired from porcelain. Emerald green eyes glittered in the firelight, accentuated by two small teardrop markings beneath each eye. The face was framed by a shock of crimson, which at first glance appeared to be flaming itself. The person was squinting from the heat, and Zexion blinked as a black-booted foot lifted and nudged his spine, pushing him closer to the flames. He couldn't find the strength to move, and suddenly became keenly aware of a piercing pain in his ribs. He winced.

The heat was becoming oppressive, and suddenly he realized that he was _in a fire_, and this was _bad_. He was being kicked around by some beautiful, glorious fire-beast who surely meant to kill him. And if he wasn't dead yet, that meant he still had to complete his mission, and to complete his mission, he had to _not be set on fire_.

His eyes widened in panic as he realized a spark had attached itself to the end of a lock of his hair. _No—no—not the hair!_ His mouth wasn't working properly, but he managed to articulate a strangled sort of half-shriek, half-whimper, and suddenly the boot was removed from his side and strong, bare arms were hoisting him out of the flames and he was up and dizzy and tumbling, tumbling onto what must be the same hard ground as before, and he winced in preparation, but no—his fall was broken by the warm, warm body beneath him. Some sort of salvation.

Zexion closed his eyes and let himself lie there on top of whomever it was, not thinking very clearly. He wasn't sure why he had been pulled out of the fire—or, indeed, why he had been in there in the first place—but he did know that whoever was lying beneath him was very warm and very comfortable, and that he would have quite liked to stay there a long while, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, about the moment he completed this thought, the body beneath him pushed him off abruptly, and let out a long string of creative and crude cuss words, many of which Zexion did not recognize. The figure stood up, their silhouette outlined by the light of the fire behind them, and with surprise, Zexion realized that it was the very same redhead from before, whom he had imagined to be some sort of guardian of the flame.

Said redhead glared down at Zexion's prone figure, for reasons Zexion could not quite discern—until, that is, he spoke:

"That _whore_—she said you were dead!" he was saying in a high, panicky voice, pacing back and forth.

Okay, so maybe his reasons still weren't exactly discernable.

He had thought he was dead? Zexion frowned. Just because he was not in possession of a heart certainly did not mean that he was dead… the idiots must have almost no knowledge about the principles of Nobodies whatsoever, he decided. Still, though! How incredibly rude of this person!

Zexion cleared his throat experimentally, and the redhead turned back to him.

"Why the hell'd you have to ruin my fucking rhododendrons, anyway?" demanded (as Zexion had so creatively dubbed him in his mind) Beelzebub, rounding on him. His green, somewhat feline eyes glinted.

Zexion frowned.

"Why were you attempting to burn me alive?" he shot back.

"I wasn't trying to burn you alive! I was trying to burn you dead!"

"…you make no sense."

None of this made any sense. He wasn't quite sure where he was or who he was talking to, just that he had better keep talking before he was set on fire again.

"YOU make no sense!" retorted Beelzebub, looking like he might burst into flames for his fury. "You fall from the fucking _sky_, in the midst of rain that _doesn't fucking exist_, fucking _ruin_ my fucking _rhododendrons_ that I'm going to have to fucking _pay for_ because of my fucking fucked up retarded _fuck_ of a landlord who loves his fucking faggy flowers, make me worry the fuck out of my _favorite fucking cousin_, call some fucking _stranger_ who fucking _creeped_ me out and who now knows _where I fucking live_, I have to drag your fucking_ Matrix-clad_ ass over to my fucking _kitchen table_, only to be woken up from my fucking_ awesome_ dream which involved fucking _robot fucking dragons_, by that fucking _creeper_ of a flower girl who's probably just a fucking _spy_ from my fucking fuck of a _landlord_ who wants to make sure no one's _fucking_ with his fucking _rhododendrons_, and who then suddenly up and fucking _disappears_ out my fucking _front door_, leaving me fucking alone with no fucking clue what the fuck to _do_, with a fucking _dead guy_ on my fucking _dining room table_, so I have to make myself some _fucking toast_ which fucking BURNS, like all my other fucking toast, and fuck shit goddamn I left my fucking freezer open god-fucking fuck, my elec-fucking-tricity bill is already fucking high enough from my fucking _vampire toaster_ fucking fuck fuck, and I have to fucking call fucking Cid who I now owe a fucking favor to, and start a fucking fire _of fucking glory_, and throw you in, and then, all of a sudden you start fucking screaming fucking bloody fucking murder, VERY fucking obviously alive, so I fucking yank you out and you fucking fall on fucking top of me and you fucking stay there, so I have to fucking shove you off and then you start being all fucking prissy, AND THEN, YOU TELL ME I DON'T FUCKING MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!" he finished, voice now considerably louder. "Fuck," he added after a pause, as if for good measure.

Zexion blinked at him, wide-eyed, temporarily speechless and very close to terrified.

"Well?" demanded Beelzebub dangerously, leaning over him. "What have you got to say to that?"

"Uhh…" Zexion searched his mind and came up blank. Finally, he said the only coherent thought in his mind right then: "Was that language _really _necessary?"

The redhead blinked at him once, twice, and then again. He seemed to be staring at him with some unreadable expression. He pointed a finger at him vaguely, then suddenly convulsed violently in what Zexion realized belatedly was breathless laughter. "You—you—" he wheezed, sucking in deep breaths and beginning to positively howl with a cackle that crackled like fire. "You—fucking—aha…ahhhaahhahahaaha…ahah…ahhaaa…."

Zexion began to edge away, certain that this man was off the edge, but found he couldn't move without hurting his ribs. Damn. Instead he simply stared at him, horrified and intrigued. What in Kingdom Hearts…?

At last, the man's breath seemed to expire, and he wiped a few stray tears from his eyes and managed to straighten, allowing a last snicker before finally regaining his composure. He met Zexion's eyes seriously and stated, "Yes. Yes it was."

Zexion blinked at him, unsure what he meant, then realized it as in response to his question from earlier. Huh. "Well…" he said vaguely, then realized he had no retort. If it was necessary, it was necessary. "…All right then," he finished lamely.

"_The hell's going on back there?"_ called a rough voice from inside a building that Zexion realized they were next to.

"NOTHING!" called Beelzebub, glancing down at him. "Fuck."

Zexion raised a brow.

"Oh, shut up," he said tiredly. "Just—Fucking—I apologize for accidentally setting you on fire."

Zexion's eyes travelled to the blaze which was still burning several yards behind him.

"That'll burn out eventually," said Beelzebub, watching his gaze. "Anyway. To make it up to you, I will make you coffee. It will be crappy coffee. But it is coffee, and this is Monday, and you can't not want coffee on a Monday."

"I don't think I can walk," said Zexion.

"Oh. Right. That. You're gonna have to explain that to me, by the way."

_Explain what?_ Zexion wondered, certain that this could not be good.

"Anyway. Um. I'm down thataways… Eh… I guess you can hitch a ride on my bike if you can manage to hold on. Your arms any use?"

Zexion raised his arms experimentally. They ached, but they seemed to be functional.

"Excellent. Now hush and pretend you were all burnt up like a good corpse should be, okay?"

Zexion couldn't think of a proper answer to this, so he just remained silent.

"Awesome. Now come on."

* * *

A/N: Hi there. Welcome to Chapter 2. Also rewritten, but I kept some parts from Zexion's point of view because... Well... Zexion's awesome. And not only did I keep Axel's "fuck" rant, I even expanded it! Ohhh, you love me.

So, you may notice these are shorter than my usual chapters. I'm in that groove lately, not sure why. Less is more philosophy or something? Anyway, it felt like a good place to stop. Next chapter coming up will cover what used to be Chapter Two, and we'll see where that breaks off, and I'll let you know when you'll be getting your Brand New Content!

If you review... I will be inspired to write more.

Yes.

Love.


	3. I Can't Believe It's Not Buttah

A/N: Ta-da! Three in a day! I'm a miracle worker. Of course, it's easier rewriting stuff you've already written.

Turns out even though this chapter is about equal length to the other chapters, there's no breaks at all! The whole thing is Zexion and Axel's conversation, and it's all in Zexy's POV. Killer.

So that also means that um... I'm still on stuff I already wrote! Next chapter... Let's see, I still have to cover the Demyx phone conversation... and that was all I had, so I'll see if I can get a real Demyx appearance in there, too! (Technically Myde.) Ohhh, that'll be awesome. New Content FTW!

Anyway.

Disclaimer and Warning still apply.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Chapter 3: I Can't Believe It's Not Buttah  
**

* * *

And that was how he ended up in a wooden chair at a kitchen table in a stranger's home, in a world unfamiliar to him, bruised, singed, and under interrogation.

"This coffee is disgusting," Zexion muttered.

"What's your name?" asked his murderer/savior again, who had introduced himself as 'Axel, that's A-X-E-L, got it memorized?' Zexion hadn't decided what to tell him yet. Xemnas had told him to introduce himself as Ienzo, but for some reason he hesitated.

"Seriously, what do you put in this?" he stalled.

"Nothing. It's coffee. What else do you want?" Axel would have none of it. "What's your name?"

"Zexion," Zexion finally answered automatically, then cursed his own accidental disobedience. "My name is Zexion."

"Finally. All right. Neat-o. Swell name."

Swell? Was this guy for real?

"Anyway, _Zexion_, since you hate my coffee so much, would you prefer some toast?"

"Toast?" Zexion mulled this over. It seemed an odd thing to ask, but he supposed there wasn't really anything strange about it. "Well, all right, I suppose."

"Excellent."

Seeming far too pleased with himself, Axel stood and walked over to the freezer, then let out a long string of expletives (this seemed to be a habit of his). "Goddamnfuckit, I forgot about this fucking freezer."

At least that explained the cold.

Continuing to mutter, he pulled out a white bag with brightly colored dots on it and removed from it two slices of bread, which he popped in the white, battered-looking toaster beside the fridge.

"The door's still open," offered Zexion politely.

"Fuck the door," pronounced Axel grandly, though kicking it shut. "Fuck electricity bills. What did they say in that movie? It was awesome. They set stuff on fire."

"…" Zexion didn't quite know what to say to this, so he remained quiet.

"So, kid," said Axel, seeming calmer.

Though his tone was perfectly casual, Zexion suddenly felt a chill of foreboding.

"Yes?" he said, since Axel seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"You, ah, have a bit of explaining to do, yeah?"

"Do I?" He managed to say it calmly, but inside he was quailing slightly, cursing the inefficiency of Xemnas' instructions. _Find Number Seven and any others. Introduce yourself as Ienzo. Gain his trust. Bring him back. _Thanks so much for specifying what to do in an emergency, Superior, he thought sourly.

"Uh, yeah, you know. Just a little." Axel toyed with the dial on the toaster. "Rare, medium, or well done?"

"Um… medium," said Zexion randomly, finding it the safest-sounding option. He nodded and turned the dial, leaning back on the counter on his elbows.

"So, yeah, explaining. I mean, okay, I can live with some of your gig."

'Gig'? "Can you?"

"You know, the whole Matrix get-up, the club hair, the totally VK dye…"

Matrix? Club hair? VK? "Uh huh…"

"Not to mention the fact that a doctor confirmed you dead… But hey, people make mistakes all the time, no big deal, I get that."

"All right."

"But I mean, there's one thing I just don't get. One thing that sticks out at a teeny weeny bit odd, even for LA."

"What's that?" He tried to sound innocent.

"Well, _Zexion_, where in fuck's name did you come from?"

Already, the worst question he could possibly ask. He had no answer. Fortunately, Axel went on.

"I mean, some people jump from buildings, but seriously? There's another balcony right above me, and another one right above that, and so on and so forth, and it's just really unrealistic that you would somehow miss all of them and get mine."

He got a balcony? Did he mean he landed on a balcony? That explained the pain.

"I mean, even without the crazy mirage rain, someone falling from the fucking sky, you know, just a bit strange."

Mirage rain? …Oh… Whoops.

"I mean, come on, kid. I know extreme sports are all the rage these days, but you just don't jump from nowhere onto random stranger's balconies. It's just… not cool."

"My apologies," Zexion said automatically, feeling that if what Axel was describing was really true, he sure was acting awfully casual about it.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He waved a hand flippantly. "My point is, again, where the fuck did you come from?"

"I, ah… it's, ah…" A phrase he particularly hated popped into his mind, and without thinking he said it: "It's a long story."

"Kid, I'm free all day."

It occurred to him that being called 'kid' was getting faintly annoying. But he had more important matters to attend to. Axel had now met his gaze shrewdly, and he got the strong feeling that his intelligence was not so casual as his manner was. "It's complicated," he said anyway.

"I'm a fairly educated man. Try me."

Zexion was growing greater and greater awe at this man's composure, which seemed to hold steady even as his own infamously cool façade seemed to be crumbling. "It's personal," he said, which even to him sounded like the dumbest excuse ever.

"God forbid you tell something personal to a complete stranger who could give a flying fuck about your personal life and who will never see you again."

That was a slightly comforting thought, at least. Whilst the man was clearly not unintelligent, Zexion was beginning to doubt his sanity again. He would be glad to move on. He realized that Axel was staring at him, though, arms folded and looking very much unamused.

"I… It's…" For the first time in his life, Zexion felt speechless. "Y-you see, it's kind of…"

Axel sighed. "Spill it, Neo."

"My name's Zexion," he countered automatically.

"No, I mean Neo like from the Matrix." He gestured his hand up and down at Zexion, which didn't make sense to him.

"What Neo from what Matrix?" asked Zexion.

Axel stared at him with a piercing gaze. "What do you mean what fucking Neo from what fucking Matrix? Have you seriously never fucking seen the Matrix?"

"Um… no."

"Bet you hate Wonderbread, too," muttered Axel darkly. The word meant nothing to him. "Fucking kids these days…"

Zexion once again couldn't fathom what to make of this, and so refrained from comment.

"Well?" snapped Axel.

Well, that didn't work. Um. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about," he said wearily, hoping the truth of his statement would distract from the lack of answers.

Axel sighed as well. "No fucking kidding, you're about the most out-of-it kid I've seen since…" Suddenly he stopped, eyes widening slightly.

Zexion narrowed his eyes, watching closely. What was he thinking?

"Well, beat me with a broomstick and call me Uncle Harry," he said inexplicably, beaming.

What? Thought Zexion.

"I get it now," he said with a grin, then looked suddenly contrite. "Jeez, kid, you could have just told me, I wouldn't have made fun of you."

Zexion blinked at him. He was sorry now? … Well, that was convenient. He stuck out his lower lip a little to maximize the sympathy factor. "Yeah, well…" he said vaguely.

"Man," said Axel with a soft awe. "You really can't remember, huh. Must have hit your head pretty bad falling from wherever the fuck you fell."

He thought he had amnesia? … Perfect! Why hadn't he thought of that? Zexion shrugged innocently, playing along. "I guess. It does hurt pretty bad," he added for good measure.

"You're a poor little fuck. Where'd you come from, a con or something? But you wouldn't know. Damn. Do you have anything on you?"

Zexion tilted his head in confusion.

"Like, wallet, ID, that sort of thing? I mean, you know your name, so if you know where you live, I could just get you home…?"

"I…" Zexion felt his pockets, because that seemed to be what he expected. "Nothing," he said finally.

"What do you know, though? You know you're Zexion."

"Yes, I—" Fortunately, what would have been a hastily concocted story was interrupted by the popping of the toaster, accompanied by the smell of burning. Axel turned to the toaster fiercely, eyes narrowed, glaring at the blackened Wonderbread sticking out of the toaster slots.

"Fuck you, toaster," he said venomously.

"Do you always cuss at your toaster?" asked Zexion, unable to resist. He really would have to work on that resisting thing. He usually did fine.

"As a matter of fact, yes," said Axel. "I talk to my toaster all the time. His name is Albert, and he is—" he turned to glare at the toaster again—"a _fucking_ asshole!"

You named your toaster _Albert_? thought Zexion.

"So." Axel began speaking again, not waiting for Zexion to comment on this. "I still have questions. For what you _do_ remember."

"Right." Zexion nodded. He should be able to concoct enough to satisfy him, especially with the amnesia excuse. He considered telling Axel about his life at—would it be called 'home'? It had never quite been home to him—the World That Never Was. Leaving out, of course, anything that would give him away. He could talk about his… colleagues, changing names of course. It would be interesting; and perhaps even _enlightening_.

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"What the—six_teen_? Are you shitting me?"

"No… why?"

"You look older. Are you in school, then?"

"No…"

"Did you drop out?"

"…I… can't quite remember anything about school."

"Right, sorry. Is your hair color natural?"

"Yes?"

"Killer. What do you do, then, if you're not in school?"

"I work."

"Where?"

"With—In a lab. I work in a lab."

"Huh, science freak, eh?"

"No, that's Ve—Even."

"Evan?"

"Even."

"Who's that?"

"My… colleague, you could say. We all—that is, er, Ansem, Braig, Dilan, Even, Elaeus, and me—live together… near the lab."

"Huh. That's cool. What about family, then?"

"My parents died, and I had no brothers or sisters."

"Whoops. My bad."

"It's fine."

"So… do you have some peculiar aversion to cuss words?"

"I don't really think so…"

"Then why don't you cuss?"

"I suppose feel no need to."

"…even though you've just fallen from who-knows-where into a poky rhododendron bush on the balcony of some stranger's apartment and then woke up in a back alley in Los Angeles being set on fire?"

"…Well, yes. Even though, I suppose."

"Huh. Impressive."

"If you say so…"

"Anyway, back to the interrogation."

"Right…"

"Do you have a sharply honed sense of sarcasm?"

"A… what?"

"Sarcasm. Fond of it?"

"Is my behavior previously until now not indicative of such an observance?"

"Touché… I like you already, even if you do use big words."

"…"

"I take that back. People who respond to statements with a blank look creep me out."

"All right then."

"Don't get all huffy, Zexion! Anyways, continuing on…"

"…"

"Let's see. Right: where do you live?"

"…that's what I'm not quite sure about…"

"Fuck. Where are you going?"

"Uhm…"

"_Fuck_! You got any credit cards? Checks?"

"…No?"

"Aw, _fuck_ it, man."

"What exactly are you so upset about?"

_Ding_.

They both turned to face the other side of the kitchen, where the toaster was now spouting four black, crispy, and smoking pieces of toast.

"God_damnit_, Albert! Why can't you just fucking _work_ with me for once?" Axel howled, shoving his stool away as he stood and stomped over to the other counter, where the toaster rested innocently. He yanked the four pieces of toast out of the toaster, causing a sizzling sound as their heat met with his flesh. He glared at the pieces of burnt Wonderbread viciously. "Do _not_ fuck with me," he said venomously. Zexion could have sworn the toast slices shriveled slightly.

Axel stormed around the counter and out to the sliding glass door behind Zexion, who turned to watch. He opened the glass doors and stepped outside, looking around suspiciously as if he expected acid rain to come pounding down or something, then violently threw the smoking pieces of toast down to who-knows-where.

Zexion couldn't help but stare, bemused.

Who in Kingdom Hearts did he end up with, and why, of all people, _their_ balcony?

* * *

A/N: Honestly, this chapter was so much fun to write. Dialogue is my favorite; can you tell?

Okay, so coming up next: Myde, Myde, and more Myde! And hopefully some BRAND NEW CONTENT!

And a more original chapter title!

Pleasepleaseplease review when you read this, because even though I know some people reviewing is just not your thing, but if you don't I will think that nobody reads this and then I will stop writing. So... please review! I love you!

LOVE!

Also, happy holidays to you all!


	4. Benjamin B the Third

A/N: Revised content below. New content officially starts next chapter. Btw, I spontaneously decided to do this chapter in Myde's point of view to make it funner. (He's a fun guy.)

Enjoy! Happy Christmas Eve for those who celebrate it, and to everyone else, happy holidays in general!

Disclaimer and Warning still apply.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Chapter 4: Benjamin B the Third**

* * *

Myde was browsing through aquarium screensavers at his desk in his best friend's dorm room when his cell phone rang. At first he was too absorbed in the colors to realize, but after the third ring, his companion piped up from the magazine he was reading on the bed and pointed it out.

"Your device is vibrating," he said drily. "Are you looking at those faggy fish pictures again?"

"Your hair is pink," Myde reminded him. "And you're named after a flower."

"And you're turned on by aquatic creatures. Answer your damn phone."

"Oh-! Right." Myde scrambled for his tiny, abused mobile and flipped it open, holding it up to his ear. "Yello?"

"_Hey…" _said a dry-sounding voice on the other end, trailing off awkwardly. The silence crackled slightly, and Myde figured he might be on speakerphone. The voice cleared its throat. _"Uhh… is this Myde?"_

"At your service!" he chirped cheerily, propping his chin on his fist. Lumaria glanced at him from the bed.

"_Who's that?"_ murmured a second voice from the other end. The first hissed at him.

"_Shut up, I'm talking! Hey, Myde?" _he said, louder.

"Yep, that's me. What can I do ya for?"

There were squeaks in the background, and a sigh. "_You have nothing to eat."_

"_Shut up! Hey, this is Axel. I tutor you in Calculus?"_

"Ohhhh, hey!" Myde switched his phone to the other ear, which was more comfortable. "A-X-E-L, committed to memory. Wow, I never thought you'd actually call me."

"…_right. Anyway…"_

Lumaria had set his magazine down, eyes widening, and gestured at Myde. '_Axel?'_ he mouthed. Myde nodded eagerly, flashing him a grin.

"Uh-huh?" he prompted, waving a hand at Lumaria to shut up. "What's chillin', Axe? Grillin'? Fo shillin'? Something mathematical or more of the social scene, hmmmm?" He smiled to himself, feeling popular. It was well known that Axel didn't socialize much outside of class. It made any time spent with him very envied, and his whole persona all the more mysterious.

"…_Uh… Yeah… no, not really, no."_

"_What does that mean?" _murmured the second voice.

"Who's that you've got over there?" Myde asked curiously, feeling jealous.

"_I'm getting to that, I'm getting to that! Actually that's kind of the reason I called."_

Myde leaned back in his chair. "Uh-huh?" He spun to face away from Lumaria, who was waving his hands furiously in curiosity. He smirked to himself.

"_Don't ask how the circumstances came about that I'm asking you this, but what do you know about homeless people?"_

"_I'm not a—" _The second voice grew muffled, presumably stifled by Axel's hand. Myde giggled at the mental picture.

"_Homeless people. Myde. Focus."_

"Oh, right." Myde had ADD, which was why he got paired up with Axel in the first place. "Um, yeah, homeless peeps. Tons. More than I should. I could write a book on them. I could fill a library with books written on them, if all those books were written by me, and they were all different books, and there were only one copy of each book, and the shelves were completely full of books, and the walls were completely covered in shelves, and every shelf went all the way up to the ceiling, and it was a tall ceiling, and they were big walls, in a big, big building. If I had the time. Which I probably wouldn't, because like, I'm a college student, and it's expensive to get books published, and it takes like years to write just _one_ book, and like, the way I was describing it, it would be like, way more than one book, which would mean a lot of years, which would mean… I'd be really really old. … But yeah. Homeless peeps. I know 'em."

He was pretty sure that soft _fwap_ping sound from behind him was Lumaria hitting himself on the head with his magazine repeatedly. Whatever.

"…_I really don't think that whole library analogy is relevant, Myde. But anyway. Okay, good. So you're like, our resident expert on homelessness, right?"_

There were more muffled sounds from the second person.

"Absolutely," Myde said confidently. Being an expert was a good thing, right? Even if it was on homelessness?

"_Well, then, I need your help_."

Myde straightened in his chair. "Really? _You_ need _my_ help? Wow, cool. What with?" He stared off into space for a moment, trying to fathom what the great Axel could possibly need his help with. The only thing they really did together was that math tutoring. "…Calculus?"

"…_What? Y—"_

He stared at the fishies on the screensaver. They were so pretty. "Don't think I can help you there; the only thing I know anything about schoolwise is Marine Biology. Are you in that class?" He didn't remember him mentioning it, but then had a sudden exciting thought. "Ohmygod, are you joining? No, they don't let you do mid-semester transfers, I don't think. Do they? Maybe they'd let me go out of Art and into Instrument… wait, are you in Marine Biology then?"

"_Myde, I'm not—"_

His mind wandered. Had he totally missed Axel's presence? No way. "I've never seen you in the classroom," he said with a slight pout. "I mean, granted, it is a pretty big classroom, but still—hey! You could be in a different period! I never knew that, dude, why didn't you tell me?"

"_Myde."_

Wow, the great Axel wanted his _expertise_ on marine biology. He smiled at the fish on the computer screen. Wasn't he just thinking about being an expert on something? Eh, probably unimportant. "Yeah, I can totally help you with your Marine Biology homework. Have you studied for the quiz Thursday? What questions did you—"

"_MYDE."_

"Huh?" He blinked. Ohhh, had he been trying to get his attention? Whoops. "My bad, sorry. Were you saying something?"

"_No, I don't need your help in Calculus. Nor Marine Biology. I'm not into water stuff and never will be. Sorry_."

"Aw, man, that's all right." He waved his hand, though he couldn't see it. "My bad, totally. But right! You need my help. My _expertise_. But not on fish."

"_No, not on fish. Myde, do you even remember what we were just talking about?"_

"Umm…" He thought back. "Hobos?"

There was a sigh from the other end, and suddenly something clicked.

"Ohhhhh, you have a hobo problem! Right! Gotcha! Whatcha need?"

"_Not exactly a…" _Another sigh. "_Never mind. A _sort of_ 'hobo problem,' I guess."_

"Sweet. Spill!" Myde twirled with a lock of his gelled hair.

"_A guy… uh… ended up on my balcony after a bad concussion… he can't remember much. He doesn't have any ID or address and can't think of anyone he knows, so he doesn't really have a place to go. I don't know what to do with him."_

The second voice muttered something that sounded like 'You could just let me go.'

"Hmmm, I see," said Myde. "A guy, huh? Well, I mean it mostly depends on the important question."

"_What's the important question?"_

"Is he cute?" He suddenly heard a loud clatter and some distant expletives, and held the phone away from his ear slightly, grimacing. Lumaria glanced at him from behind his magazine curiously. "…Hello?"

Axel's voice returned after a clicky sound, the white noise suddenly much less static. "_I'm here. Jesus Christ Myde, what does that have to do with anything?"_

He hadn't really thought it a strange question. Myde shrugged. "Well, it's important. I mean, if he is, you gotta keep him. Of course, I guess he could also be… hmm." He tilted his head. "Well, is he cute and/or hot and/or sexy? Handsome won't do. The handsome ones are always looking for trouble."

There was a long pause. "_…I guess he is."_

Damn. Competition. Oh well. "Which one? Handsome? Or cute, hot, sexy?"

"_Those ones."_

"The cute hot sexy?"

"_Yes, whatever. Christ, will you just get to the advice part?"_

"Is he cute AND hot AND sexy, or just one of them? Or two?"

"_I don't know, he—jeez! Myde. Focus. I have a problem here! That doesn't matter!"_

"Ohhh, it definitely matters," said Myde knowingly. "But if the answer's yes, then definitely keep him."

Axel sounded weary, and Myde wondered why. "_Myde, are you sure you know anything at all about homeless people?"_

Myde snorted. Did he know-! "Yes," he said impertinently. "I have like eight random hippies living in my apartment."

There was another pause. "_…why?"_

"Why what?"

"_Why are there eight random hippies living in your apartment?"_

Myde opened his mouth to answer, then faltered. Wait… that was a good question. Why hadn't he thought of that? He searched back, and couldn't come up with an answer. Wow, he was good. "Holy crap, I don't even know!" He laughed, impressed by Axel's keen sense of observation. "Wow, that's just… huh. Wow! I really never realized that. Why are these people living in my apartment? It's only got one bedroom!"

More _fwapp_ing came from behind him. He rolled his eyes. Lumaria could face-whack all he wanted. _Myde_ was talking to _Axel_. Nyeehhhh.

"_Wow_," said Axel drily.

"Maybe I should move out," mused Myde aloud. "You live in an apartment too, right? Got a spare bedroom, by chance?"

"_NO," _said Axel fervently.

"How about a couch?" Myde suggested. He liked couches. They were usually in front of televisions, and people with televisions usually had popcorn. Popcorn was good. Mmmm. Now he really wanted popcorn.

"_No!"_ said Axel again. "_Well, I mean, yes I have a couch, but—"_

"Ohhhh," Myde said in realization. "Right. Gotta save it for Mr Hot Homeless, eh?" He grinned, pleased with himself. He was so clever with nicknames.

"_Myde…" _said Axel.

"Mm-hmm?"

"_I am __not__ keeping him_."

There was some muttering from the second voice, too far away to hear now that he was no longer on speaker.

"Awww, why not?" said Myde. It sounded fun to him. Like an experiment. Or an adventure. Or a Lifetime movie. "He's cute, he's homeless, and he hit his pretty little head on your balcony. Am I right? Am I right? He needs you, Ax. What've you got to lose?" He was using his sugary sweet voice, and he was pretty sure Lumaria was staring at him.

"_Oh, I dunno, maybe my sanity_?" Axel replied cuttingly.

"Awww, come on, give the cutie a break."

Axel sighed. "_You don't even know him, Myde._"

"Well, maybe I'll get to know him, then," he retorted. Arguing with Axel was fun. He smiled. "I can move out of my apartment and get a dorm and then, he and I can be roomies!"

"_NO._"

"No? Why not? Do you liiiiiike him?" Axel had _called_ him. He must want to be his friend. So that made teasing okay. Myde hummed a little tune in his head, happy he was able to set his friend up, even if he would rather be hooking up with him.

Axel sighed (again) angrily. "_Fuck you, Myde."_

Wow. Only really close friends cussed each other out. He beamed. "So that's a yes."

_"I do not!"_ he protested vehemently. "_Dude, I don't even know the kid. And by the way, he can't room with you; he's not in our college_."

"Well then get him in!" College was funner with friends.

"_No can do. He's sixteen._"

Myde sat up. Sixteen? That changed things. His tone turned sympathetic. "Okay, now it's hard fact. Hun, you can't just throw a teenage kid out on the streets."

"_Fuck you, Myde_," Axel said again.

"Awww, you don't mean that! Plus, you said that already." Myde wasn't confrontational, but friendly arguing sure was fun. He didn't usually get a change to argue with anyone but Lumaria.

Axel remained huffily silent.

He suddenly got a stroke of brilliance. "…I'll come over!"

"_No._"

"Why noooot?" he pleaded. Imagine, being in Axel's apartment! He would be the talk of the school. People would know him as 'Friend of Axel' instead of 'That Fish Kid.' Everyone would ask him questions and he would smile and refuse to answer because after all, he respected Axel's privacy, as his friend.

"_I've got a whole fucking list of why not, Myde. I've had a bad enough day already, for one. Two, I never let people in my apartment. Third, in case you forgot, I don't actually know you. You are a complete stranger to me whom I happen to know from tutoring. Four: there's no point to you being here. Fifthly, I am so not letting you near this kid. He will run for his life."_

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"_Because you'll flirt with him in that creepy way of yours. Which makes you a pedophile, by the way, seeing as he's six-fucking-teen. Also, you are just generally way too friendly. And exuberant. And you will get distracted and probably accidentally walk out the door with him."_

The insults didn't register, mostly because Myde was picturing what Axel's apartment would look like. He bet it was a total bachelor pad. "That's all probably true," he said in a mildly cheerful tone, not really put off. "I'm gonna come over anyway."

"_Whyyy?" _said Axel in a whine.

"Weellllllll…" Myde traced over the shape of an angelfish on the computer screen idly. "I haven't finished my Calc homework yet, first of all. I don't really get it. Plus I want to see your hobo. It can't hurt to just _look_. Age is just a number, anyway. Besides which, I also just really want to see your apartment. It will make me popular. With the ladies, I mean."

"_What? Why would it—Wait, Myde, why would you even care? I don't know if you've figured this out yet, but I'm pretty sure you're totally gay."_

"Yeah," admitted Myde. "But attraction from girls makes me attractive to guys. I don't know why. That's just how it works."

"…_you've been planning this ever since you saw my name on the Caller ID, haven't you."_

Myde actually didn't look at his Caller ID, but if he had, he figured he probably would have come up with the idea, so he didn't deny it. "Yeah," he said casually. "Pretty much."

There was a long pause, then a defeated sigh. _"If you can get here in five minutes _with_ your Calc homework, _sans_ directions from me, I won't lock the doors. Any longer, an' the cops'll be hot on your ass for illegal trespassing. And Zexion will _not_ be staying with me."_

Myde jumped up with a clatter, grabbing his things. Lumaria stared at him questioningly. He grinned, then quickly responded to Axel: "Luv ya, heading out now, byeas!" He flipped the phone shut, shoving it in his pocket.

"What…" said Lumaria slowly.

"I'm going over to Axel's," said Myde, beaming.

Lumaria stared for a moment, then shook his head slowly. "You're a wonder, kid." He rolled his eyes. "Get out of here. Seifer will be pissed if he knows you were messing around with his computer."

Myde only tossed him a grin and strode to the door, yanking it open.

"Hey, you did change the screensaver back, didn't you?"

He waved mischievously and left, shutting the door behind him on Lumaria's calls.

"_Did you? Myde!"_

He hummed to himself, swinging his other arm through the second strap of his backpack and striding quickly down the hall.

* * *

A/N: Okay, you have no idea how much fun that was to write. It was so, so much fun, I swear.

Myde is a strange guy.

Anyway, Chapter 4! I'm a miracle worker. Again. Except I haven't given you any new content. Again. Not my fault! I'm trying to make all the chapters approximately the same length, and the dialogue apparently just takes up that much room! Which, by the way, means that in my revised version, about half of a chapter fits into a new chapter. And since I only did two chapters last time, and now I'm done with Chapter 4, next chapter will Definitely Positively be Brand New Content.

So... be excited, and review, and tell me how awesome I am. Or how much I suck. One of the two.

Happy Holidays, y'all. I love you lots.


	5. The Awkward Purgatory Turtle

A/N: I spent six hours trying to get this thing up and finally had to restart my computer to get it working. Ugh. I need a new computer. Anyway, this chapter is split-POV. First part Axel, second part Zexion. And hey! Guess what! It is... as promised... badadadaddadadaadadadadada (that's my drumroll)... BRAND NEW CONTENT! (Cue shiny 'ding' noise.)

Ta-da. I hope y'all have been looking forward to this! It was fun. You'll learn a tiny bit more about Axel and Zexion's situation. Um... yeah, read on!

Disclaimer and Warning still apply.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Chapter 5: The Awkward Purgatory Turtle  
**

* * *

Axel regretted inviting Myde over.

He had already rearranged furniture, declared Zexion not homeless ("His hair and boots are too shiny!"), named four lamps, watered his plants, attempted to break into his room, picked a lock, and re-tuned his guitar. His _only_ redeeming quality was—

"Wonderbread is soooo gooooood," Myde moaned, chewing happily on his slice of white bread, which, disgustingly, had neither been toasted or made into a sandwich. Instead, he had simply slathered it in mayonnaise and gone to town. _Mayonnaise. _He just pulled it out of nowhere! Axel didn't even remember _having_ mayonnaise. He didn't like it. It was too slimy.

"You're an abomination," he hissed quietly from the other side of the table, knowing Myde was too distracted to notice. "A menace, an alien, a—"

"You know he can't hear you," piped up a soft voice from beside him. It was Zexion, who had been so still and quiet Axel had nearly forgotten he was there.

"That's the point," he said, focusing his glare. Maybe if he stared hard enough his eyes would grow lasers.

"Nothing's going to happen if you keep staring at him," said Zexion casually, and Axel turned to glower at him.

"Would you stop reading my mind?" he snapped. "It's getting pretty annoying."

"I'm not a mind reader. Your face is just an open book."

"Well then stop perusing it."

"Can I go now?" he asked for the trillionth time.

"No," said Axel. "No, you cannot."

"Why?"

"Because you _have_ nowhere to go, that's why."

Zexion rolled his eyes. "I'll find somewhere. I'll just find a hotel."

"And how do you intend to pay for this hotel?"

He shrugged. "Munny?"

"You don't have cash or a credit card, moron, last I checked. Short of those, there's really no other form of payment they'll accept." He added drily, "Unless you just happen to have a checkbook on you?"

"No," said Zexion. "I don't."

"Then you're not leaving." He turned his attention to Myde, who looked sickeningly blissful. "Myde, you know The Gambler."

Myde nodded, mouth full.

"Think he could get into Missing Persons for me?"

Myde considered, then nodded again.

"All right." He slid down in his chair, leaning his head back. "He probably won't be on there for a few days though."

The Gambler was a bit of a notorious figure around town, someone Axel had been fortunate enough to gain the good favor of during his years of delinquency. It had been he that 'arranged' a few games for him back when he was still Lae, he who helped him become who he was today, and he who hooked him up with his roommate and school and a chance to live on the good side. Nobody knew his real name, and Axel was one of the few to know what he looked like. They had kept in touch even after he got into school, and he brought him by a bit of extra money by getting him into tutoring. Which was how he had met Myde.

God knows how _he_ knew him.

"Why are you going into Missing Persons?" Zexion asked.

"Well presuming you're from somewhere, someone's missing you, right? Once you're gone long enough, they'll report it. Then we can find who's missing a kid with blue hair called Zexion."

Zexion ran his fingers through his hair unconsciously. "It's slate."

"If you say so." Axel waved a hand flippantly. "Anyway, until then, you'll just have to stay here."

Myde grinned suggestively and Axel ignored him.

"I'll find somewhere else to stay," said Zexion.

"No way," said Axel. "This is LA, you can't just knock on people's doors."

"Why not?" challenged Zexion.

"Why _not_?" Was this kid insane? "Kid, is this your first time in Los Angeles?"

He shrugged.

"You'll get killed."

Myde raised his hand. Axel ignored him, but Zexion still looked blank, and Myde still kept his hand up, so he sighed and relinquished. "Yes, Myde?"

"He'll get killed," Myde offered helpfully.

Axel rubbed his temples. "Yes. Yes he will. See?" He jerked a thumb towards Myde, turning back to Zexion. "Even he knows it."

The poor kid was still dressed in his Matrix outfit, probably a cosplay. He'd have to check up with the nearest convention centers, see if they were hosting anything notable that he might have wandered away from. And if not that, then a concert maybe?

"What kind of music do you like?" he asked aloud, musing.

"Everything," said Myde cheerfully. "I love music."

"I wasn't asking you," Axel said.

"I don't listen to music," said Zexion.

"Everyone listens to music," said Axel accusingly, wondering just what kind of guy Zexion was.

Zexion shrugged, looking away, and suddenly Axel felt bad. Maybe he didn't remember.

"Never mind," he said quietly.

Zexion stared at the window, and Myde watched them both with a curious expression.

"I still don't know why you're here," he said, frowning at Myde.

"I wanted to be." He shrugged. "And I still have that homework."

"Right." Axel sighed. Homework. He had forgotten all about it. "Fine, fine, we'll do that. Need anything to do, Zex? I have a TV in there you can watch. And, eh, I'll find some clothes you can borrow later."

Zexion blinked at him. "TV?"

"Yeah, in the living room. Remote's on the table." Axel pointed. "I gotta shove some math into this kid's brain. You're paying me," he added, turning to face Myde.

Myde shrugged, smiling. "All right."

Axel sighed, tilting his chair back to reach for a pencil from the kitchen counter. How had he gotten into this? He would rather spend Monday alone.

And damn, could he use a light.

* * *

*That Evening, on the Couch, Dressed in Oversized Borrowed Clothes and Frowning in the Dark*

* * *

Zexion was very, very dissatisfied with the day's events.

He had been sent to search the world for Nobodies, based on the abnormal readings Vexen had received. It had been ascertained that at least one, possibly more, were present on the planet, and possibly for a long time, meaning they might already have ascertained their nature or might even believe they were human still.

"Xemnas," as he now called himself, was planning something, something he had not yet shared all the details of. They had all gathered after the incident, reassembled, but their purpose had drastically changed, and Zexion couldn't be quite sure where it was going. Xemnas had declared them Organization VI, and had numbered each of them by age and given them a title according to their newfound abilities. They were searching for others, others for some purpose, to complete an assembly of Nobodies, each with a particular type of power, and their goal was something unattainable, and the means were beyond him. He believed Xemnas wished for them to regain their hearts, and he couldn't fathom how he would arrange that, except that it had to do with Kingdom Hearts and they needed more people for it. Thirteen, to be specific. When everyone had been found, they would be Organization XIII.

He, being number Six, had been assigned to find in this world number Seven, and possibly others. All that he knew about number Seven was that his affinity was with the moon, as Zexion's own was with illusions and Vexen and Lexaeus' affinities were with ice and earth, respectively. He knew not how to find someone who was not someone, based on the little information he had. In the other worlds they had explored, it would have been easy. But from what little he had seen from the back of Axel's motorcycle, this world was huge. Massive, even. Unless it was an illusion like his own, it was bigger than any world he had ever seen. No wonder the readings had been so abnormal.

What's more, he had seen no sign of Heartless, or indeed of any sign of darkness, magic, other worlds, or any such indicator of a connection from this world to the rest. Yet he knew it was so, for he had arrived her, had he not?

He was reminded of the Superior's request for updates, and he summoned his Lexicon, flipping it open and sliding a pen from his cloak. If it was still connected with the World that Never Was (and it ought to be, for all darkness was connected), he would be able to communicate with them.

He chewed the end of his pen thoughtfully, then set it to the aged parchment.

_This is number VI._

_Good to hear from you, Zexion_ appeared on the paper in return.

_V? _Was it Lexaeus? If so, he had gotten lucky.

_Yes. _

_In that case, good to hear from you, too._

There was no response. Lexaeus was not a man of many words.

_There have been complications._

_How bad?_

_This world is larger than we thought. And the people are nosy._

_How is this problematic?_

_Something about the transportation misoccurred. I ended up unconscious on someone's balcony. They now believe I have amnesia and are keeping me here._

_Leave._

_I have no leads._

_Have you asked around about anything unusual?_

_Apparently there is not much 'unusual' that isn't 'usual' in this city. Also the people are untrusting._

_Gain their trust._

_How?_

_Is your host considered trustworthy in this world?_

_I do not know. He is difficult to get a read on._

_Gain his trust first. Then get him to help you. _

_I'll do that. Thank you, Lexaeus. It's been a rough day._

No response.

_It may take a while._

_Take all the time you need. The Superior is busy scheming. Should I let him believe things progress with no difficulty?_

_I think that would be best._

_Is that all?_

_Have you heard of something called 'Wonderbread'?_

_No. Why?_

_Apparently it is very controversial around here._

_What is it, bread?_

_I suppose. The culture is very strange. It makes it difficult to blend in. I'm lucky they believe I have amnesia._

_Luck has nothing to do with it._

_Probably true. I should go._

_I'll give the Superior word of your arrival._

_Much obliged. I hope it will be you I talk to next time again, V._

_I'll see what I can do._

He stopped writing and the words began to fade away. He stared at the page for a moment, watching the ink disappear. He would have to gain Axel's trust, then, wouldn't he. He would need to stay longer than just those few days, then. He needed to come up with a plan.

Nobodies did not technically need sleep, but they could feel weary, and Zexion did. Weary, bruised, and with a dull, throbbing headache. He closed the Lexicon and let it disappear. Axel was a bit of a wild card, he could tell that right away. He lied back on the couch. This would be tricky. He let his eyes close.

He deserved this rest, he thought, allowing his consciousness to slip away as the darkness of sleep enveloped him.

* * *

**_Fin Ch 5._**

A/N: It was approximately the same number of pages, but... is it just me, or was this chapter kind of shorter? Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, finally! Brand New Content, as promised! I'm excited to keep this story going. Meanwhile, here are some teaser questions for you all:

What is Xemnas' plan?

Why does Axel have a Nobody name while Myde has a Somebody name?

Where does Axel come from?

And... the greatest of all... WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?

To find out, put this story on alerts! Also, review. Or I might not even write the next part. (I will. But, you know. Bribery. Worth a try.)

Anyway, please review so I know how you're receiving this-and to those that celebrate, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Now, time for me to sleep.


	6. the Mad Lion with the Tiny Sneeze

A/N: I've done it! My first story to get to six chapters! Whoo! Excuse me while I go buy some confetti for the sole purpose of tossing it. Or maybe I should just hole-punch a bunch of papers.

Anyway, the story develops! Not much happens in this chapter, but there is a bit more exposition. I'm really glad you guys seem to like all the dialogue, but I've got more solid description in this chapter, too. PoVs go Axel-Zexion-Axel. Should be fun.

So, anyway. Read on and enjoy!

Disclaimer and Warning still apply.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Chapter 6: the Mad Lion with the Tiny Sneeze  
**

* * *

Axel didn't sleep much that night.

He found himself that morning, lying on his bed, arms folded behind his head. His eyes were firmly locked on the blank white ceiling. He wasn't sure why. He wasn't sure why he was awake this early, either. He didn't have to go to class for a few hours. He was thinking, but he wasn't sure about what.

His room was plainer than most people would expect. There wasn't anything on the walls except for a bulletin board, which had some pictures on it. The letters L-A-E were written in red above the pictures. A few random scraps of paper were pinned to the cork. On the opposite wall from him was a desk with a computer. There were shelves of CDs on either side of it. His bed was in the corner of the room. In the other corner there were bookshelves. An electronic keyboard was set up beside them. There was a window on that wall, opposite from the door, but it had no view but the beige-gray concrete of the building next door. Next to his bed was a nightstand. Across from it was a tiny walk-in closet.

Anyone could have lived there.

He sat up at long last, stretching. (_Pandiculating_, to be specific. He loved that word.) He sat up and turned to stare at the photographs on the corkboard, running his fingers along the corners. He let out an amused breath after a moment, shook his head, and stood.

He stumbled, as though he had stood up too fast, and gripped his head to steady himself, dizzy and growing a headache. With the throb of pain came a swirl of images. Some scene kid, a fire, Myde in his apartment… he groaned.

"Fuck mornings," he muttered, rubbing his temples. Wait, none of that had actually happened, right? It had to be a dream. He hadn't slept well, after all. Probably because it was Monday yesterday.

Wait, no, was that just in the dream? He staggered over to his desk and fumbled for his cell phone, flipping it open. Nope, it was Tuesday today. What _did_ he do yesterday, then? All he could remember was burning his toast and the dream. Maybe the fumes finally got to him. Maybe he shouldn't have disabled all those smoke alarms. Maybe one of them was actually a carbon monoxide detector and it was off now and couldn't detect the carbon monoxide that was now poisoning him.

That was exciting. He recalled thinking in his dream that he needed to pick up some ardent admirers. When he did, he would tell them all about his dying self. And they would bake him things. Delicious, cookie-like things. Mmmm.

He bet it was Albert that did it. Albert had always hated him. He would get a new toaster, he really would, but he was afraid that if he tried to get rid of Albert, he would electrocute him or something. He didn't really want to be electrocuted.

What was he doing again?

Oh yeah. Morning. Go-make-self-look-presentable time. He yawned and forced himself to traverse the carpet of doom over to his bathroom. He splashed some water on his face, then flinched. Ew. Why had he done that? He hated water. Like a cat.

It did work well enough, though, to clear his vision. At which point he instantly noticed a face in the mirror that had not been there before. A blue-haired, creepy-stalker-looking kid in Sai'x's clothes was standing in the open doorway, staring at him.

"AAaurgh!" he yelled, straightening instantly and flailing as he jumped away. "Gaaahh. What. The hellshit. Are you doing."

The boy blinked—What was his name again?—and tilted his head. "Sorry," he said, though he didn't at all look it. "I was awake."

This seemed to Axel an extremely inadequate explanation, especially seeing as he was really, really keen on the idea that none of yesterday had ever happened, and the kid's _real_ travesty was invading his real life from his dream. Although clearly that had not happened. Unless it was the carbon monoxide?

Ah, fuck it. If a hallucination could motivate him to keep moving rather than collapse on the floor, that was just fine.

"Jesus," Axel muttered under his breath still. "Forgot you were fucking real."

Something in the kid's expression seemed bewildered by this statement, as though it were personally ironic or something. Axel brushed it off and straightened, cracking his back. "You're a creeper," Axel added for good measure.

"Sorry," he repeated, although he still didn't look it.

"Whatever." Axel sighed. "What's your name again?"

The boy hesitated, as though considering what answer to give him, then said, "Zexion."

Zexion. That was it. "Right, right." Weird name. "So. Zexion. Remember anything?"

He shook his head, watching as Axel ran his fingers through his hair and frowned at the mirror.

"That's convenient." Axel sighed again. "All right. Okay. Um… Do you need to take a shower?"

He shrugged.

Axel sighed for a third time. "Yeah, you do. You were rolling around on gas-and-oil covered ground yesterday. Okay, fine. Ahh…" He ran his fingers through his hair again. "All right, well I gotta shower first in order to keep myself from passing out, so… can you hang tight and not break anything for ten minutes?"

"Why would I break something?" he asked.

Axel frowned. "Because. That's what people do when they're at other people's houses."

"But this is an apartment," pointed out Zexion, "and I have no motivation to break your things."

"You know what, just shut up," said Axel, growing sour. "It's morning. That means you put up with whatever I say for a few hours until I can stand to see the light of day. Okay? Just… hang out or something until I'm out. You can get food if you want. If you can find any. I think we have some Cinnamon Toast Crunch left."

Zexion only blinked at him, which Axel took to mean 'okay,' so he ushered him out into the hall and closed and locked the door.

He could just see it. He was totally gonna become a babysitter to this little blue-haired freak. He sighed.

Mornings.

* * *

*No Time Later At All, Just In A Different Head*

* * *

Zexion had no new insights as to what to make of this strange person called Axel.

He was, actually, a bit hungry, but didn't think it a smart idea to partake in anything this pyromaniac had in his kitchen. Therefore he set about to wandering the apartment.

There wasn't anything particularly interesting in the living room, aside from some disks that appeared to contain pornography—but then, this wasn't unusual. The kitchen was depressingly empty, and the cupboards were stocked with mismatching plate and silverware sets, leading Zexion to hypothesize that Axel tried not to spend a lot of munny. Or perhaps he didn't have much. Down the hall from the kitchen was a dining room, which had a nice wooden table and some china in shelves. The next room was closed with double doors, but they were unlocked. He found the room to be stacked with cardboard boxes and a few file cabinets, and decided it was likely used as a storage room. There was nothing else in the front hall, for past the storage room was the front door. The opposite wall had no doors, just several frames containing what would appear to be album covers bearing signatures, probably autographs. An audiophile, Zexion noted. Perhaps he would have to take back what he said about not listening to music in order to gain his trust.

At the opposite end, where the living room was, began another hall directly parallel to the first. The first door was the bathroom, he had discovered when finding Axel in there. He wandered down to the next door, which was locked. He tried the next door down. Locked as well. The door following it, and the last one, was unlocked, and it led to another bathroom. He stepped inside, glancing around. It was simple and pristine, containing nothing indicative of its user. It had a toothbrush and toothpaste and hair product, which meant it was probably used regularly. But Axel used the other one. Two locked doors… Zexion blinked, startled. Had he neglected to mention he lived with someone else? He eyed the second door in the bathroom, which must lead to the second locked bedroom, and, after pressing his ear to the wood to hear nothing, tried the handle. It turned, and he pushed open the door quietly.

He immediately shut the door, holding his breath. There had been someone inside, sleeping. A figure with long blue hair. Most of the rest of the room had been done in shades of blue as well. Zexion suddenly realized where his borrowed clothes had come from. They hadn't seemed like something Axel would wear, and indeed, they must not be. He frowned, growing a sneaking suspicion that Axel had not asked this person's permission to borrow their clothes. He sighed and stepped out of the bathroom quietly, closing the door behind him as it had been. He would have to find out more about this companion, then. Perhaps he would be more sane—although, if he was sharing house with Axel, he kind of doubted it.

He walked back down the hall to the second door, which must be Axel's bedroom. He wondered what was inside of it. Why did he lock it? Was he hiding something? He was a curious character, indeed. Very curious. With nothing left to explore, he ceased his search and sat, leaning against the wall outside of the door to the bathroom. He could hear the water running inside, and without thinking, began to picture the room behind the door, probably filled with steam as Axel showered, he had a hunch he would like the water hot as it coursed down his skin, so he could pretend he was being rained on by not water, but fire… his head might tilt back just so—

Zexion straightened suddenly, feeling a heat in his face. That was a bizarre thing to imagine, and it had nothing to do with anything. He pushed the image away, scolding himself for such a wandering mind and ignoring the quiet voice inside him that asked why he was picturing it in the first place. It was simply a logical compilation of knowledge, he told himself. Steam equals heat, sound equals shower, shower equals Axel, and he already knew what Axel looked like without a shirt, seeing as he had only been half-clad when Zexion ran into him in the bathroom, so of course all the things he knew together would produce such a scene.

But of course, not one worth dwelling on.

This world was strange. Very, very strange.

He firmly determined not to think or imagine anything else. Instead, he summoned his Lexicon and bid it open to his files. He turned to a blank file, labeling it "Axel," and began to write what he knew. Knowledge was power, after all. And with great power, came great responsibility. It was his job to keep track of all he knew.

It was only coincidental that some things he wrote drew up a tiny corner of his mouth in what might resemble a smile.

* * *

*About Nine Hours Later*

* * *

Axel leaned back in the plastic booth at Subway. "So, that's my life," he said. He had, after some consideration, decided for Zexion to tag along to his school day, though it had taken him nearly twenty minutes to convince him that, really, none of the professors would care. It was a Tuesday, so he had only had two classes; the Cinema 3 lecture and the Finance 008 lecture, which he just took in the computer lab because it was all computer-based. (For that time he had showed Zexion how to get past the block and go onto addictinggames dot com, which he had quickly become, well, addicted to. Axel was amused to pull him off the mystery games, where you had to click around the room to find the clues as to what had happened to you. He was quite good at them.) Now that the day's classes had ended, they were at a Subway nearby, eating.

Zexion only tilted his head at him, biting his sandwich. Apparently he didn't think statements required a response. He sure was cute blinking at him like that, though. For a weirdo.

"Sooo…" Axel played with his straw. "Remember anything yet?"

Zexion shook his head. "No. I'm sorry."

Axel waved it off. "Well, did you at least have fun?"

Zexion tilted his head the other way, appearing to consider this. "Fun? Well… I suppose." He grew a quiet smirk and added, "You're quite the popular guy."

Axel grinned. "You know it. I'm the mystery man."

"Why 'mystery man'?"

"Because apparently I'm mysterious." He laughed. Finally someone he could explain it to who hadn't already heard of his campus-wide fame. "I dunno. I guess it's because I don't really talk to anyone outside of class."

"Why not?" Zexion asked curiously.

Axel shrugged. _Because I don't want anyone knowing too much_, he thought. "I dunno," he said. "Most people aren't very interesting."

Zexion nodded, as though he didn't find this atrociously rude. Axel thought it sounded kind of atrociously rude. Maybe Zexion thought the same thing himself. That'd be nice, for someone not to be appalled by his indifference to humanity.

"Perhaps not," Zexion conceded. "What _do_ you do outside of class?"

Axel blinked. What _did_ he do? Uhhh… "I dunno," he said. "Mess around. Relax. Play around with some music and sound tech stuff. Burn things."

Zexion rolled his eyes. "You really like setting things on fire. Including people."

"Hey, that was an accident," protested Axel. Kind of.

"Yeah, you accidentally dragged me to some abandoned alley and accidentally splashed a bunch of gasoline on the ground and accidentally threw a lighter on it."

"Actually," corrected Axel, "It was just the space behind an auto shop, and I used a match."

"Accidentally," added Zexion, raising an eyebrow.

"Definitely accidentally," said Axel with a grin. "Hey, so you do have a sense of sarcasm after all."

Zexion straightened and averted his eyes, as though trying to deny this. "Only when appropriate," he said curtly, returning to his sandwich.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," said Axel, waving a hand. "I bet you have a whole secret wiseass in there, cracking one-liners every which way. Bet he's a real deadpan snarker."

Zexion shook his head. "I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about," he said.

"Sure, sure," said Axel. "But I'm onto you, yeah? I've got my eye on you, kiddo." He flashed him a wicked grin.

Zexion seemed to be trying to stifle a smile.

"Commit it to memory," Axel declared.

"If you say so," said Zexion quietly, sipping his soda.

"You're smirking," accused Axel.

"I am not," protested Zexion.

"You're making fun of me in your head!"

"Okay, well, that part may be true," admitted Zexion, his smirk growing more evident.

Axel felt proud that he had gotten the kid to show some sort of emotion. Maybe the next few days would be fun after all. "I knew it," he said triumphantly, jabbing a straw at him. "After all I've done for you!"

"Yeah, set me on fire," he retorted.

"You didn't actually catch!"

"You singed my hair."

"Oh, suck it up, pretty boy."

"I am not-!"

Oh yeah, this would be an adventure yet.

* * *

**_Fin Ch 6._**

A/N: Huh, I didn't realize that last part was pretty short. Oh well.

So yeah, here's Chapter 6! Hope you enjoyed it. Not much to say otherwise... Except... keep reading!

And especially reviewing. Especially. Reviewing is very important. It keeps me writing. Yeah.

Ummmm... Happy Boxing Day! And first day of Kwanzaa, right? I think so. Happy that too.

Chapter 7 coming up next! What will happen? I have no clue! Do you? Let's find out!

R&R my lovies.


	7. Flavor Blasted Goldfish, Bitch

A/N: This was so interesting to write!

Welcome to Chapter 7. (Oh I'm so excited that this is going so far. Squee!) I found this a bit of a journey, myself. We're getting a bit more into the story finally. This is an all-Zexion chapter, and is therefore very intriguing as it glosses over the events of a few days. I'm curious to see where this will all go, and I hope you are, too!

Read on!

Disclaimer and Warning still apply.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Chapter 7: Flavor-Blasted Goldfish, Bitch  
**

* * *

Living with Axel was a constant adventure.

Nothing that was cooked could be cooked without burning, and he seemed perfectly content with this, so Zexion ended up having to eat either cold food or meals about as edible as cinders. Each morning he attempted to make toast, and each morning it caught on fire, and he howled his dismay and tossed the burnt toast with surprising accuracy onto a neighbor's roof. He had brought him along to class the next day, too, and the day following, and it was interesting to see his normally hyperactive persona calm down and absorb new information. He seemed collected and intelligent in class, yet never lacking for a witty, cutting, or sarcastic observation. And yet, when at home, he adopted a more carefree manner that tended to involve a lot of fire and spontaneity.

He also proved to be a very thoughtful person for such a callous one, and would sit for a long time with Zexion trying to pin down the area he came from by the slang he used. Fortunately, this didn't lead anywhere, as Zexion didn't really use much location-specific slang at all. As a result, he had decided that he must be 'Canadian', and then prompted him to say "sorry" several times to see if it was said in the proper accent. He had seemed very disappointed to find that his "sorry" was average.

One time, when Axel wanted to buy ice cream from a street vendor, Zexion made the mistake of asking for sea salt. Axel had gotten very excited at this and at the vendor's confusion, and had rushed away back to the apartment to look for places that sold sea salt ice cream. Apparently it was not common. It was another close call—he couldn't find it. Just recipes.

"Maybe someone I knew had the recipe," Zexion had suggested with a shrug.

Then there was Sai'x.

He had finally met the elusive flatmate that very morning, in a queerly nonchalant interaction. He had wandered out of the hall not long after Zexion awoke, looking tired and disoriented, heading to the refrigerator and rummaging inside of it. Zexion had sat up, curious to finally see the mysterious man. As he emerged from the fridge with a carton of milk popped open, his eyes landed on Zexion and he had done a double take. Zexion had but stared at him, not sure what to say.

Sai'x had solved this problem by pointing at his attire, commenting "Those are my clothes," and taking a swig of milk straight from the carton.

Zexion had looked down, slightly abashed, then looked back up. "Axel gave them to me," he had said by way of explanation.

Sai'x had nodded, as though this was a perfectly acceptable answer, and took another swallow of milk before saying, "I'm Sai'x."

"I'm Zexion," Zexion had responded.

Sai'x had nodded again. "Axel told me," he said. Then: "What time is it?"

Zexion hadn't known. "Maybe a quarter past five?" he guessed.

Sai'x grimaced. "Late," he said. "Time to sleep."

And with that he had returned the milk to the refrigerator, tossed a curt wave in Zexion's direction, and disappeared back into his room.

That was the most interaction with the man Zexion had had yet, but he had also learned from Axel that he slept during the day and stayed up at night in order to accommodate his hobbies as an amateur astronomer. Zexion filed this piece of information away, noting that he might be a good person to ask about someone who had an affinity with the moon. There couldn't be that many astronomers in such a bright city, he reasoned. But he might have to wait a while for a chance to speak to him again.

The rest of the time had mostly been spent listening to Axel rant.

He tended to rant a lot; he ranted about the government, he ranted about money, he ranted about humanity in general, he ranted about the education system, about video games and movies, about technology, about people who pissed him off, about his toaster, and (with surprising frequency) about the bread called Wonderbread. In this manner Zexion was never at a loss for new information about Axel and his character and opinions—or, for that matter, new cuss words and combinations thereof. The emerald-eyed man was very inventive in that area.

Right now he was ranting about Wonderbread.

"And you know what," he was saying heatedly from across the kitchen table, "Fuck them all!"

Zexion raised a brow as Axel put on a mocking voice.

"_Oh, my! I'm too dumb to pronounce these ingredients, therefore I can't eat this! It must be processed rubber! Ew! I'm going to go tell everyone how much Wonderbread sucks! Nyeh nyeh nyeh!" _he said in a high, annoying voice. "Retards," he growled in conclusion.

"Pronounce the ingredients?" Zexion queried curiously.

"Yeah," said Axel. "You know. They say if you can't pronounce the ingredients in something, like they're chemicals and you don't know what they are, then it must be bad for you."

Zexion tilted his head thoughtfully, glancing at the ingredients list on the bag of Wonderbread that Axel had been waving around previously for punctuation. "I can pronounce all of these," he announced after a moment. "And I know what they are, too."

Axel's jaw dropped, then he leaned over the table eagerly. "Well?" he demanded. "How bad is it really?"

Zexion eyed the list of ingredients and the nutrition information, weighing it in his mind and quickly doing calculations. He shrugged. "Not that bad, considering," he said.

Axel leapt up with a clatter and swept him into a tight hug, surprising him. He stiffened in shock, crushed against his unnaturally warm body and realizing that he had never really been properly embraced before. He felt a heat behind his cheeks and blinked rapidly, prying Axel's arms off him, though his body quietly begged him not to, this was so nice, so comfortable, so needed—

"Yes!" crowed Axel, oblivious to Zexion's discomfort and whirling mind. "I knew it! Thank you! Proof! Victory!" He pumped his fist triumphantly, flashing a devilish grin.

Zexion rubbed his shoulders. "Yes, well," he said vaguely, for no real reason other than that he thought he should say something. He refused to meet Axel's eyes.

"You're my hero, kid," said Axel. "Who knows, maybe I will keep you around after all!"

_Yes_, said a small voice in Zexion's head. _Do keep me_. For the sake of trust and the mission, Zexion told himself quickly, reassuring himself of his logical motives. Somewhere inside of him he feared that if he let the voice continue, it would have gone on to say that he was genuinely enjoying himself with Axel. But that wouldn't have been true. Nobodies couldn't feel joy.

"Oh, hey, by the way," said Axel in a more serious tone, drawing Zexion away from his treacherous thoughts. "It's been three days now. We should check the database for you. See if anyone's looking."

"What's that? Oh, yes," said Zexion, mildly distracted. "Yes, that's a good idea."

"Right," said Axel. "I'll text Myde, see when The Gambler's free. Or heck, maybe I could just ask Reno." He frowned to himself as though thinking.

"Who _is_ the Gambler, anyway?" asked Zexion after a moment. "I've heard you mention his name before."

"Oh," said Axel. "Um… He's just a guy I know… who, ah, knows some people who know some people, you know? He's got access to… well, a lot."

"A… high-ranking official?" asked Zexion, not understanding.

Axel snorted. "Of the underworld, maybe," he said.

Zexion tilted his head at him.

"The crime underworld," Axel clarified.

Zexion nodded. Interesting. He wondered how Axel had met him, but decided against asking. It wasn't the time. "Who's Reno, then?" he asked instead.

At this Axel brightened. "He's my big bro," he said affectionately. "Haven't talked to him in… jeez, ages…" He trailed off, looking distant, and Zexion almost regretted asking.

He nodded meaninglessly, trying to defuse the tension, but surprisingly, Axel went on.

"Yeah, you'd like him," he said. "Or, well, hate him. He's a little quirky, like me." He grinned.

Zexion allowed a small smile. "Quirky isn't too bad," he conceded. "But are his hobbies as dangerous as yours?"

"My hobbies aren't dangerous," Axel protested. "They're just… fiery."

"Uh-huh." Zexion rolled his eyes. "Does your brother share your affinity?"

Axel shrugged. "He likes explosions as much as the next guy," he said. "But he's not any kind of pyromaniac, really. He's a good guy. A lot of people thought we were twins growing up."

Zexion nodded. _Another Axel?_ he thought. "Your town must have quailed at the sight of the two of you," he commented wryly. "Although I can't imagine anyone possessing quite the same personality."

Axel looked pleased by this. "Why thank you," he said. "Naw, we're not that much alike. But we… what's the term… we kind of _complement_ each other, that's it." He nodded to himself.

"That's nice," said Zexion, nodding slowly. He had never had any siblings. He wondered what it was like.

Axel's thoughts seemed to be drifting somewhere else, so Zexion cleared his throat slightly.

"So…" he said. "How would your brother get access to Missing Persons?"

"Oh," said Axel. "He works for the government. Some special division body-guard-type thing. Not Secret Service or CIA exactly, but something like it; I'm not sure. But he's pretty high up, so I thought he might have access to that sort of thing."

Zexion nodded. "Makes sense," he said.

"Maybe I will call him," said Axel, somewhat to himself. "I think I will."

Zexion watched his facial expressions, wondering what was in his head. Axel's emotions were always easy to read, but his thoughts rarely ever were.

Randomly, he wondered what Axel would be like as a Nobody. He just couldn't imagine him without emotion. He was so vibrant and expressive, it would seem so wrong. He could only manage a picture of a rag doll fashioned to look like Axel, dull of color and with stitched 'X's for eyes, limbs hanging limply and pins in his back. He shivered. It was so very wrong. If there is anyone who ought never lose their heart, he thought, it should be Axel.

It occurred to him that this opinion was rather personal and he wondered where it had come from; but it stayed nonetheless.

Perhaps he was just envious of his emotion, reasoned his inner empiricist. Perhaps, having none, he was automatically drawn to someone who wore feeling so vividly, who seemed to live it.

Perhaps.

* * *

*Later That Night*

* * *

After Axel had retired, Zexion stayed up, sitting on the couch and staring at his Lexicon in the lamplight. He stared at the words on the page, having been in conversation with Lexaeus again.

_This guy you've been staying with_, Lexaeus had written. _What's he like?_

Zexion had to think about this for a long time. What was Axel like? How could he describe him to someone that had never met him? Loud, callous, messy, rude, tactless, vulgar, impulsive… Principled, deep, thoughtful, quirky, humorous, witty, intelligent… Spontaneous, vibrant, exuberant, self-contained, distant, energetic, emotive… Where could he even begin?

After several long moments, he wrote decisively his answer.

_He's like fire_, he said.

_Sounds… dangerous?_ Lexaeus wrote back immediately.

_Nothing I can't handle_, Zexion returned automatically.

_Have you learned anything more from him?_

Tons, Zexion thought drily. Many new cuss words, for instance.

_Not enough. But I may have possible leads. There are a few people he knows that it might be useful for me to talk to._

_Do that._

_I will. And in the Castle?_

_Things are the same. Xemnas is growing impatient. _

_Impatience will only lead him to recklessness. Do appease him._

_I've been doing my best._

_Thank you. I appreciate it._

_Anything else important?_

Important? How would one define 'important'? Was meeting Sai'x, at long last, important? Was hearing about Axel's brother, with whom he clearly had some history, important? Was learning fascinating facts about film and the history thereof in Axel's classes important?

No, he reckoned not. Not to the Nobodies back at the Castle, anyway. And nor should they be to him.

This everyday lifestyle was not on the Organization's agenda, nor Zexion's own. He needed to remember that.

_No_, he said finally.

_Then I'll leave you be._

_Very well. _

There was no response, as he had expected. Lexaeus, like himself, was a man of few words. And yet it seemed like the conversation should have been more loquacious. With a start, Zexion realized that he was beginning to become accustomed to Axel's seemingly ceaseless chatter.

Harmless, he assured himself. And undoable easily enough.

He almost enjoyed it.

* * *

**_Fin Ch 7._**

A/N: So? What did you think? A bit of a different feel, but I like it. Exploring Zexion's thoughts is so interesting.

I don't think I really have much else to say, but now that my visitors are creeping up, I'll say that Reviewer Number 50 will get a special prize!

Yeah. That was a bribe. So what? I like reviews.

But hey, keep reading and reviewing anyway. Even if a review is to criticize, I'll still want it! Promise.

See you guys next chapter! (Waves)

Much love.


	8. Overflowing with Animal Metaphors

A/N: Ack! I didn't even mean to write this all in Zexion's PoV again! I wanted to get some more Axel in there, on account of this is his chapter (Chapter 8). Like, last chapter (Chapter 7), I introduced Sai'x, because that was his number. Did I mention that I did that? No? Well, now you know. There is method to my madness.

Sometimes.

Anyway, this was a whole lot more involving than I thought it would be, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did (well... as much as one can enjoy writing with a distinct undertone of emo). I don't have much else to say, except that the character exposition is going quite nicely.

Disclaimer and Warning still apply.

* * *

**Wonderbread**

**Chapter 8: Overflowing with Animal Metaphors  
**

* * *

Zexion loitered outside Axel's room.

He had just a moment ago disappeared inside of it with the announcement, "Imma go call my brother now."

But all that he could hear was Axel' quiet breathing, and what might be the shuffling of carpet under feet. Was he working up the courage to call? He had seemed somewhat withdrawn ever since yesterday afternoon, when he had determined to find out somehow or another whether someone was looking for Zexion. He was certain it had something to do with his brother, and he was curious what could possibly have happened between them.

He wished desperately to be allowed inside. He wanted to watch Axel's face change as he spoke, wanted to analyze him, learn about him. He gently leaned against the door and, to his surprise, it gave way and opened slightly.

He looked down at the doorknob with muted breath. It was unlocked. Should he go in? Perhaps Axel had just forgotten… or perhaps it was an invitation. The phone call was about _him_, after all.

He pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Axel was facing away from him at the moment, staring at the phone in his hands, and so meanwhile Zexion glanced around the room. It was a little bit plain, somewhat average, walls covered not with posters but with a few shelves of books and CDs. He didn't get a chance to take in any detail, though, before Axel whirled around, blinked in surprise at his appearance, and immediately threw the phone down and began pushing him towards the door.

"What are you doing in here?" demanded Axel angrily.

Zexion instantly regretted invading his space. "N-nothing, I just—"

"No one told you you could be in here, okay?"

"I'm sorry, I just—"

"This is _my_ room. Mine. Axel's. A-X-E-L's room, got it memorized?"

"Yes, I—"

"You what? You just what?" Axel poked him in the chest challengingly, his tall frame blocking Zexion's view. "You just thought it would be okay? You just thought you had the right to come inside whenever you wanted? Hm?"

Zexion began to feel almost affronted, and straightened, narrowing his eyes. "I just thought it would be nice to be there for a conversation about me and if anyone's reported me missing," he said sharply. "I didn't expect you would be so determined to hide whatever it is you're hiding in here."

Axel seemed taken aback at this. "What makes you think I'm hiding anything?"

Zexion arched an eyebrow. "The fact that you won't let anyone inside."

"That's not…" Axel faltered, and Zexion was filled with an immense curiosity as to his motivations. "I don't have anything in here, it's just a normal room."

"Then why is it always locked?"

"Because, I don't know, it just is." Axel seemed upset, brows furrowed and lips curved in a frown. Zexion tried and failed to determine his thoughts. "I just… don't want anyone in here."

"…Fine, then I'll just stay outside and wait," said Zexion after a moment.

"No, that's…" Axel ran his fingers through his hair, seeming off-guard for the first time. Zexion had never seen him anything less than certain. It was fascinating and a little sick. "No, no. You're right. It's about you. You can stay. I'll, ah, I guess I'll put the phone on speaker."

Though this was what he had desired, Zexion automatically asked, "Are you sure?" He cursed himself immediately afterwards, hoping Axel wouldn't change his mind.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just a room," said Axel, frowning to himself. "Just… Come on in, sit on the bed."

After another pause to ensure he was certain, Zexion obediently stepped inside, glancing around as he sat on the edge of the bed. The walls and ceiling were plain and white. The computer was surrounded by other tech equipment and the desk it sat on was framed by two stacks of CDs. There was a corner of bookshelves, a keyboard, a bulletin board, a nightstand. No posters, certificates, pictures, or other memorabilia, except for a few photographs pinned to the corkboard above his bed. Zexion turned to examine it curiously.

They were all pictures of a younger Axel, always looking vibrant and happy and mischievous, never in a boring pose. There were others in each picture—an older, sweet-looking, red-haired girl, a strikingly similar-looking boy with blue eyes and spiky red hair with a long ponytail, sometimes both of them, and in one instance a young boy blocking his face with his hand, whose hair and style were reminiscent of Sai'x. Zexion wondered if it was him as a kid. Were they childhood friends?

The lookalike boy must be Reno, Zexion decided. And the girl? "Is that your sister?" he asked, pointing to her. Axel glanced at him, having shut the door and joined him on the bed, phone in hand.

"What? Oh." He looked back down. "No, that's Cissnei. She's my cousin. Reno's technically my cousin, too, but in reality he was more like my older brother."

Zexion nodded, wondering how that all came about. His eyes lifted to the neon letters above the photos. L-A-E. His mind automatically rearranged them and added an 'X.' 'AXEL.' Wait… what? He blinked and looked at the letters again. L-A-E. That was too odd. Too very odd. Why those letters? "Wh—" Zexion began to ask, but halted as Axel shushed him with a finger to his lips, gesturing to the phone, which he held up to his ear.

Ah. Right. His questions could wait. He sat patiently, returning his gaze to Axel, who was obstinately staring at the window instead of meeting his eyes.

A few seconds passed, then Axel straightened. "Hello?" he said carefully.

Zexion strained to hear the voice on the other end, but he couldn't make out any words. Instead he settled for watching Axel's expressions.

"H-Hey. Reno?"

There was a pause.

"Right—right—sorry—it's just, ah…"

Zexion watched him closely.

"N-no, it's, um…" Axel's eyes flashed over to Zexion's for a brief millisecond, then immediately flew away. "It's Lae."

Lae. L-A-E. Zexion glanced back at the corkboard. Wait, was "LAE" Axel? His mind raced. But then why was he called Axel? _Scramble the letters and add an 'X,' _said a little voice inside of him. No, that didn't make sense, that was the Nobody's way, and there was no way Axel would know it. Was it a coincidence? Maybe the names were completely unrelated? It seemed improbable, but logically the only solution. He determined to find out. But later, later. After this conversation. He pushed the thought away momentarily.

"N-no, Reno, Reno, calm down." Axel seemed nervous, but he laughed. "No, no, it's nothing like that. … No, I swear. … Yeah, I know."

Zexion watched him, absorbed in the unidentifiable thoughts swirling in his radioactive green eyes.

Axel grew quieter, sounding apologetic. "No… not that either," he murmured.

Zexion waited.

"I need you to look into something for me," he said, and there was something in his voice that made Zexion sure that Axel wished that were not the reason he called.

"…Can you get into Missing Persons for me?"

Zexion tilted his head.

"Yeah, hey, hold on a sec, I'm gonna put you on speakerphone."

Zexion watched as Axel pressed a button and then set the handset on the bed between them.

"_Hey, speakerphone! Someone else there? Who're you hanging out with these days, Lae?"_

The voice was as exuberant as Axel's, but the last sentence seemed to hold a bit of pain. Axel must have noticed, for he winced slightly. "You know, people," he said. "This guy here's what I wanted to talk to you about. Say hi, Zexion."

"Hi, Zexion," said Zexion. Oh, whoops. Had he said that to be funny? He hadn't meant to.

Axel stared at him, then let out a bark-like laugh. "Ha! He has a sense of humor after all. Consider yourself honored to have heard that, Reno."

"_Sure thing!" _chirped the voice on the other end. "_Nice ta meetcha, Zexion! Now tell me, what's a nice kid like you doing hanging out with a lowlife like my little brother?"_

Axel snorted, and Zexion couldn't help but smirk slightly. "Trying to avoid getting set on fire," he answered.

Reno laughed. "_I like him! Keep this one around, bro!"_

"That's what Myde said," Axel muttered, then piped up. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, how I found him's a long story, but to summarize, I ended up with a sixteen-year-old amnesiac on my hands and I'm trying to find out where his home is."

"_Oh, yeah?"_ said Reno, sounding interested. "_That's a story you'll have to tell me someday. So, where are you at, Lae? Ever make it to the city of angels like you said you would?"_

"As a matter of fact, I did," said Axel. "I'm living there."

"_No way," _said Reno with a soft awe. "_Well, whaddya know. Good for you, kid."_ There was a clatter of keyboard keys from his end.

"_Say, guess where I'm being shipped off to next week?"_

"Canada, where you belong," guessed Axel, smiling.

"_WRONG! Brrrrrt! Nah man, __Reno__." _

"Reno?" Axel laughed. "Reno in Reno, eh?"

Zexion tilted his head. Was 'Reno' a place as well as a name?

"Heck, that's only like a nine-hour drive," Axel went on with a grin.

Zexion couldn't fathom the distance that would take nine hours to cross.

"_Yeah, man. We should hook up."_

Axel hesitated. "Well… y-yeah, I mean…"

Reno must have noticed the hesitation. "_Only if you want to, bro. No big deal. Besides, I'll be busy gambling. And I'm sure you'll be busy… doing whatever you're doing."_

"I'm going to school, actually," said Axel.

"_No shit? Good for you, kid. What're you studying?"_

"Movies."

"_Ahh, you're kidding me!"_ Reno laughed delightedly, and Zexion suddenly became keenly aware that it really must have been a long time since they had talked. What had caused them to be apart for so long? he wondered. "_That's… that's pretty incredible. Good for you. I'm glad to hear it. Bet all the ladies love a cinema major."_

"Ah, naww," said Axel.

"He's the most popular guy on campus," interjected Zexion. "Everyone's dying to know the ever-so-mysterious A—"

"Lae," Axel finished. "Yes, yes, I'm such an enigma. Anyway, whatcha got, Reno?"

"_Depends, am I spelling this right? Z-e—"_

"Z-E-X-I-O-N," said Axel, glancing at Zexion. "Right?"

Zexion nodded.

"Commit it to memory," added Axel.

Zexion rolled his eyes and Axel stuck out his tongue at him.

"_Well, in that case, I've got a grand total of… Brrrrt! Zero. No one's showing up. Got a last name?"_

Zexion shook his head.

"Nope. But wait, Zex, you said you remembered who your roommates names were, right? Do you remember any of their last names?"

'Zex'? He had never been nicknamed before. But he realized Axel had asked him a question, and told himself not to dwell on it. "No," he said, shaking his head. "Not last names. But I know I was under the care of someone named Even. E-V-E-N. That was his first name. And it was nearby a lab."

"_A lab, like a science lab?"_

"No, a lab like a Labrador," said Axel, rolling his eyes. "Yes, a science lab."

"_Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. Shut up, kid."_

Zexion was beginning to recognize where Axel got several of his speech patterns from, and stifled an amused smirk.

"I'm assuming he was in the LA area, but we don't know for sure," said Axel with a sigh.

More typing could be heard. "_I dunno, kid. I mean, there are plenty of labs around, but it's tough to find anything without a last name, and I can't find any E-V-E-Ns either. You sure it wasn't E-V-A-N?"_

"Yes, I'm sure," said Zexion.

"_I dunno then, kid. You're off the grid. Hey, let me ask you something. You're under the care of this guy named Even… but am I correct, he's not your parent?"_

"No, he's not," confirmed Zexion.

"_Legal guardian?"_

Zexion shrugged. "Something like that?"

"_Okay, but was he family, or like a foster parent, or what? I mean, what happened to your real parents? If you don't mind me asking. It just might make it easier to find you."_

Zexion grew quiet. "Even is unrelated. He was just someone I knew from work. My parents died in an accident. I didn't have any other family."

Now it was Axel watching Zexion closely, and he was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. This conversation wasn't supposed to be so real.

"_That's tough, kid, I'm sorry. Lae's an orphan too, y'know? He tell you that?"_

"No," said Zexion, glancing at Axel, who looked away.

"_Anyway, do you remember your parents' names or address before they passed?"_

"No," said Zexion quietly. "Sorry."

"_Hey, not your fault, kid. I'm guessing you didn't have any ID on you or anything when Lae found you? You weren't in a hospital?"_

"No," said Zexion again. He was beginning to feel very unhelpful, and had to remind himself that they wouldn't have been able to find him if he had all the ID in the world. He didn't exist.

"_Tough, tough, tough. Well, look, nothing's coming up here. But sometimes it takes a little longer for something to be reported, and meanwhile I know a bit about you now so I can keep an eye on the system and see if anything turns up. So all you have to do is tell me if any leads show up, all right, kid?"_

Zexion nodded, then realized he couldn't see him. "Sure," he said.

"_All right. I wish you the best of luck. Now listen, Lae… Anything else you wanted to talk about?"_

His voice sounded like it was trying very hard to sound casual, but the underlying plea was obvious.

Axel seemed to think so too, as he stared very intently at the floor. "…No," he finally said. "But thanks."

"_No problem," _said Reno. "_Anytime, you know that. I just thought since you called Cissy you might be getting back in touch or something."_

"Not really," said Axel quietly. "I called her about the same thing, kind of."

"_Really? She said you asked a bunch of crazy questions."_ Reno laughed, masking the disappointment he must be feeling.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure it all sounded very strange," said Axel in a feeble attempt at a jesting tone.

Zexion suddenly felt like he was invading something very personal, and looked away pointedly.

"_All right, well… take care."_

"Yeah, sure thing. You too."

"_See ya around, kid."_

_Click_.

Zexion chanced a glance back at Axel, who was staring at the phone in his hand for a long moment.

He suddenly didn't feel up to asking about 'L-A-E' or any of that. "It was worth a try," he said quietly in some sort of attempt at comfort (Why?) before standing and making to leave the room.

"Hey, don't leave," said Axel. Zexion looked at him in surprise. "I mean, might as well hang around for a while, right?" He looked up at him and Zexion could clearly see a desperation etched onto his face.

"Sure," he said carefully, sitting back down and staring at the floor.

Axel laid back on the bed, folding his arms behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. He seemed content like this, so Zexion leaned against the wall and tilted his head back, joining him in his silence.

He wondered what he was thinking.

* * *

**_Fin Ch 8._**

A/N: Holy fudgenits that chapter was insane! I certainly did not think that conversation would take up so much room. But next chapter comes more excitement. I may have to bring Myde back in, in honor of Chapter Number 9 (Demyx's Organization number). And there will be more Axel PoV coming up, I promise! I really love writing in Zexion's head, because it's so observant, but Axel is equally important, after all, and much more crazy and funny. But I think Zexion served this chapter well. I don't think it would have had the same feel in Axel's point of view.

In any case, let me know what you think either way!

By the way, I would like to say that I love and adore **luckless-is-me** and **Jordandear** for being my loyal readers who review after every chapter update. x3 I love that a whole lot. Yeah, that's right, they get mentions, and you? You, reader, person, who never reviews? YOU DON'T. Nyehhhh.

I'm a jerk.

Forgive me and review anyway.

Much love!


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